Re: [UKSF XI] On the Campaign Trail

On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 14:51:49 GMT, Cypher <cypher@xxxxxxxx> wrote:

>..... You'd have been proud of me today, Dat.

I'm proud to be in awe of you every day, Cypher.

>It was definitely me being nice and showing you some long overdue respect, I 
>hope the upcoming ego stroke is a good one.

Tbh I've never excelled at gently caressing the ego of another. My
brain might be swimming with "a giant amongst men"s and "go you good
thing"s and "you look lovely today"s, but my lips have a mind of their
own and more often than not let fly with "Get the cunting *** outta
here." Muscle memory isn't always an asset.

>> Um, were you manager, I'd be happy to give you my all, week in, week
>> out. It's worth noting that my all is nothing to be sneezed at.
>> Admittedly, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who has had the
>> opportunity as it rarely rears its ugly head.
>
>Reading between the lines I must say I appreciate you noting my physical 
>magnificence, my big cockedness and my chick magnet baritone.

Yeah, well I'm sure that says more about me than you, or something.

>It looks like 
>you've almost managed to solve the problem of replying to my posts directly, now 
>only the good bits about me are getting dropped by your server. I'm almost 
>tempted to buy you a paid news subscription so everyone can read your posts in 
>full, blind transcribing is quite the chore, you know.

I can understand a man with your er, requirements needing a reliable
news server. I however, only need to know when I'm playing, and in
that regard I'm confident that my server is on the same wavelength as
Poleson's.

Having your posts arrive in another instance of Agent is working out
quite nicely actually. Here I can afford them the time they so richly
deserve without risking them being sullied by all the other riffraff.

>> So, how was teh ghey cowboy flick then?
>
>It is a safe bet that I'll never watch that movie, man. I like both those actors 
>but I'm fucked if I want to watch them in a romantic clinch. I don't even like 
>watching hetero clinches in Hollywood movies. I can look at all manner of 
>pornography and degradation because that is what I have knowingly sought out but 
>when I sit down to watch a movie I'm there for the story or, failing to find 
>one, the gunfire, fights, digital effects and explosions. I get fucking fucked 
>off and edgy if I have to watch Hollywood's idea of romantic slop on the screen.
>The soft tender clinch offends me just as deeply as a fucking animal surviving 
>some major calamity when it had no fucking right in making it to safety. I'll go 
>out on a limb and say 90% of these `tender' moments are added because some 
>fuckhead suit wants to target middle America.

But what about the romhomcoms? Oh, I see. Sorry.

Fucken A, man. Give me a movie where the men are men, the women are
decorative, and the aliens get their butts kicked by the greatest
fricken army on the face of god's awesome earth anyday.

How was that? Not too ghey?

>I've jumped her bones right after you sometimes, Dat, ....

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to pull you up right there. I treat
her like a princess...no, a goddess. We meet on a higher plane. There
is no tawdry jumping of bones. There is no trembling of the knees. And
there's certainly no deathsticks being consumed.

You might not understand this, you and your one track pants. We moved
beyond the physical eons ago, although when we engage it is like two
planets colliding. There is no bestial grunting or filthy fluids to
stain our embrace, for in our space no one can hear us scream. 

We explore every exquisite inch of each other without ever leaving our
respective abodes. We are apart and yet always united. She does not
need to thrash about in the night for me to understand her distress
signals, and I am not required to relieve my melancholy all over her
pretty face as a means of expressing my deepest love.

We are as one and nothing will ever come between us.

>..... That said, I've arrived for bookings early on 
>occasion and she only looks 10 or 11 after Ben's had his turn but apparently he 
>pays extra for that. 

Heh. Yeah, it's amazing what she'll do for 1p. I've warned her that it
looks like the miserable bugger is sucking the life out of her, but
will she listen? 

Pfft, women!


-- 
Dat
.