Re: Right, I'm back.

In article <zmLqf.24981$vl2.11727@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
my_name@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx says...
>
> "Cypher" <cypher@xxxxxxxx> wrote in message
> news:MPG.1e16400e595fd66f989de0@xxxxxxxxxxxx
> > In article <kYIqf.19319$PD2.10992@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
> > my_name@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx says...
> it all works though.
> >
> > Joe, you need to turn off all the wank effects that are probably on by
> > default.
> > It doesn't matter that the pc is all nice and new and powerful you still
> > want as
> > much of that power available when you have call to use it, not getting
> > fucking
> > hogged by eyecandy n'***.
>
> Yes, yes I will. Please help me, oh Much Cleverer Than Me At This Stuff And
> Nice Enough To Type *** type person. Ironically, the other most helpful
> cunt is your nemesis btw. The least helpful cunts so far have been the ones
> who also take my money, isn't that always the way?

Ah yes, Nemesisrad, I was a bit disappointed that cunny didn't offer to build
you a computer, Joe. It must be the dead shark eyes leeching their cold into his
heart that held him back from offering. Shitlips has time to play with
shuttlecocks but no time for saving a mate's hard earned sponds. You're sitting
there freezing your well-nudged bollocks off and dining on raggedy fingernails
because of him.

> Anyway, eyecandy sux donkee ***, I'd have saved for a half-decent graphics
> card if I cared about that sort of thing.

I agree wholeheartedly, I have a 128mb beast of a video card just for looking at
porn. I can see blackheads with it.

(snip)

> > Next Step:
> >
> > Rightclick on a blank space on your desktop, select Properties, click the
> > Themes
> > tab if it isn't already to the fore and select the Windows Classic theme,
> > click
> > ok and run like ***, you'll have 10 seconds to get outside before
> > poisonous gas
> > gets released by the changes you've just made.
>
> Done.
>
> > Now if you heed my advice and follow those instructions you will have XP
> > looking
> > more like the Windows 98 you are familiar with.
>
> Done. Thanks muchly.
>
> Does that last one save juice as well, or is it just so I'm a bit less
> freaked out when I look at my monitor? I'll do anything I can, and
> anything that someone clever and helpful like you or Kullrad advise, to save
> juice. I should probably just try and get over the weirdness in the long
> run though.

Good question, I'm fucked if I know the answer to that though. I'm tempted to
say yes, yes it does because turning off any of Bill's candy saves memory but
maybe it literally doesn't. It certainly gives peace of mind to be on a familiar
stomping ground though so in a very real way it saves personal ergs which are
far more important.

At first and for a wee while XP is a bit daunting, I fucking hated it when it
first came out on the market because I was turning up to fix customers pcs and I
had never had a good look at the OS. I nearly went mental trying to find ***
behind all that eyecandy most of the bastards had running. Our company sold it
with their computers but the fuckers wouldn't give me a copy to get familiar
with it. I had to flog a version off the net in the end just to do my job
properly. I still can't believe I worked for those cunts for two and a bit
years. I really don't miss looking at stretched tae *** wallpaper of someone's
spotty little kid either. Ah..sorry about that, Joe, I was having flashbacks for
a second.

There are some good sites around that detail all the *** you can do to make XP
run like a fleet thing with the wind behind its back but baby steps are what you
want to be taking for a couple of weeks.

Off tangent for a sec: One of our drivers had his pc *** up on him so instead
of giving me a yell, and I'd told him I'd work on his ***, he gives his pc to a
mate of his that just might have been a fucking monkey in disguise. This chimp
couldn't fix the problem so he ups and fucking blows everything away on our
driver's hard drive to solve the problem without backing a single thing up for
him. The only photos he had of his dear, dead mother? Gone along with everything
else. Never hand a computer over to some *** to work on if he doesn't at least
ask you if you have anything of value on the drive/s.

I'll have a hunt around for some of my links to cunts what know how to make XP
squeak.

> > Also remember with XP you have
> > System Restore running by default so if you plan on installing something
> > you can
> > set a restore point then roll back the changes the new app makes if it
> > fucks
> > things up on you. Same thing if you get some viruses, select a restore
> > point
> > from the last time you knew you didn't have a virus and roll the OS back
> > to that
> > point. You'll delete no files from your hard drive doing this.
>
> Yeah, my Stepdad mentioned this. He also recommended dual-boot, which
> sounded like a bit of a pain in the arse until I realised just how quickly
> teh modern PC reboots these days. Glad I got it now.
>
> Should I set a restore thingy very soon? Like, before I put Cubase up the
> music boot?

Start Menu/Programs/Accessories/System Tools/ and you'll see the icon to System
Restore. You can set restore points manually but I'm pretty sure it does it
every day as long as its running, but it was the running at all that bothered
me.

Oh another thing you want to turn off is Indexing, if you ever hear your hard
drive thrashing it is probably that pissant Indexing service. You don't need it,
so turn that *** off too.

Start Menu/Search/For Files and Folders/ - When the search window opens click on
the `change preferences' and turn *** off that annoys you.

You could set a restore point just for the hell of it to see how it runs, it
won't take long to do because you won't have much *** installed yet. So do one
for fun then do one just before you install Cubase.

Best thing you could do for the new comp though is not to run anything Microsoft
that connects to the net, *** off IE and Outlook straightaway and use Firefox
and Thunderbird and you'll keep the pc clean a hell of a lot easier. I think you
said you were running Firefox anyway? If you are I'll give you a list of
essential extensions to install that make surfing much nicer.

(snip)

> > If you do take my advice I might take you into my confidence and inform
> > you of
> > some background services you can turn off that will cause your house to
> > burn to
> > the ground.
>
> I'd like that.
>
> Hey, do you think we should go kayaking in the Himalayas or something next
> month? Just me and you. I promise not to talk fat ghey this time.

I'd like that, Joe. I might need to be on a litter though because the muscles in
my legs have wasted away. I've been meaning to respond to your earlier mention
of our Amazonian shenaniglans a while back, hopefully one day I will.

.