Re: Stop me if you've heard this before


"Osbourne Ruddock" <strikeboy@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:Xns96EEA730AC60Dstrikeboyhotmailcom@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> A huge amount. Sex & religion, it's what makes the world go square. To tie
> this in with kiddies, sex and religion, you should read Philip Pullman's
> Northern Lights trilogy. The theme there is how organised religion and
> belief systems try to destroy our soul and *** us up.

Hang on, your wife's already lined up next year's book for me to read.
Let's not get carried away here.

I could be dead tomorrow.

> Probably true, I also know women who were very promiscuous in their
> twenties who are a bit messed up now, having collected some dubious
baggage
> from some dubious people along the way. Life is an endlessly opening
> conveyor of parameters and possibilities I guess, anything can happen.

Heh. Extremely fucking fair point.

> Show a picture of a page 3 girl
> to a Kalahari bushman and will they find the image sexually attractive?
> Maybe, maybe not.

Page 3 sux donkee ***.

> Why do women overwhelmingly find porn either pathetic, laughable and/or
> despicable while men overwhelmingly find it arousing. Surely there's a
root
> cause of relationship dishonesty and a load of the other *** that makes
> the world a mad place right there. Sure some women love porn and some men
> hate it, why can't the world be filled with equal amounts of men and women
> who love/hate it so everyone can get together on an equal basis?

I think social conditioning has a lot to do with it. However, I do also
believe in the idea of genuine, deep-seated differences at the root of men
and women, and that's probably why women will to some extent always remain a
bit mysterious and wonderful to me and hence why I can only find women
sexually attractive.

The porn argument is a case in point. As is the sport argument, in that men
and women, even the women who appreciate sport, seem to appreciate sport in
subtley different ways. And far more women than men think sport is boring
nonsense.

So, I do (as I said) know women who love porn, but they seem to love it in a
different way and for different reasons, even if they like the same stuff.

As with any rule, of course, there are exceptions.

> Maybe so
> many women hate porn because it's a bit crap for them. If it's a bit crap
> for them but their blokes love it then what does it say about their
> relationships? And we're back to that old honesty argument again.

Precisely.

> My brother has a great book called "Caught looking" that looks at porn
over
> the last couple of hundred years. It has excellent photos from the 19th
> century, eary 20th etc... and makes you realise that your great great
> grandad loved beaver shots and hardcore as much as any 17 year old male
> today.

Yeah, I saw some 19th century hardcore in the sex museum in Amsterdam when I
was 16, very educational that was for the exact reason you've just given.
Quite good *** as well, mind you.

> The pictures are very different to today though, the women are all
> sorts of ages, shapes and sizes, the men are all thin and everyone's
having
> a laugh. I like those pic's and find them more human and loving even, than
> what I've seen of the modern stuff. But I haven't seen a huge amount of
> modern stuff so I may just be talking out of my arse.

Possibly. I think the current volume and accessability of pr0n out there
probably reasonably represents the vast diversity of sexual preferences,
just with the most cuntformist and vanilla preferences more prevalent than
the minority ones, in line with demand. Therefore, if porn which features
thirty-stone women getting it off with farmyard animals is your thing, you
can no doubt find that *** with a little effort.

Whether or not this was the case 100 years ago I wouldn't know. My
grandparents are far too dead to be bothered with such questions, but I'll
keep them in mind should I ever see clear proof of an afterlife. I'm
curious now.

The only thing I find abhorrent, utterly abhorrent, is the existence of a
market for 'porn' which features unwilling participants of one form or
another coming to harm of one form or another. People baffle me when they
go that far, and only provide ammunition to anti-pron crusaders.

> Yeh, I have to start talking to him about this stuff very soon and I
> haven't yet. Damn, must get onto it. Wanking's interesting because you
only
> do it for pleasure whereas sex has a basic biological function. This has
> allowed all the kids literature to concentrate on intercourse for making
> babies whereas good old masturbation is much more problematic.

Exactly my point, really. Given the percentage of adult intercourse with
the specific intention of reproduction, does that not seem like a
ridiculously misleading and dishonest form of 'sex education' to you? It's
like the one of the biggest white lies ever told, in that they didn't tell
you anything which wasn't true, but they did present 0.02% (or something) of
the truth as the whole story.

> I honestly
> don't know how I'd explain to him that it's fun when your *** gets hard
> and you can yank on it till a load of weird white stuff comes out. This
> probably won't seem remotely pleasurable to him at all, more likely
> horrifying. He likes chocolate, and sports and PlayStation'n'***. His
***
> is for pissing out of thank you very much.

Okay, before I go any further I'd like to put my usual belittling arrogance
aside briefly and make clear that I'm not a parent, don't know anything
about parenting and can only offer at best a possible alternative to any
given way of looking at things.

With that in mind.... perhaps not all sex education is to try to make
someone understand something better at the point of explanation, but to make
them understand it better when it happens. So, at such a point as your son
wants to know about wanking, and deems you worthy of approach on the
subject, your answer might not make any sense to him at the time but could
still make the whole thing a lot easier for him to get his head around when
the time comes.

Possibly.

> Beautiful stuff Joe, agree with all of that. What about girls with guns
> though? That's got to have something going for it?

Yeah, deathporn is good. I like the really kinky *** where houseplants get
fucked up, like maybe they drag some *** of a flowering peace-lily in from
the streets and blow it to bits with explosives. I'm like, YEAH!111!one!1
fucking take it, bitch!11spunking!11

Then I'm spent.

> > Cunts.
>
> Heh, good, it's the only way you'll get ahead.

I'll smash that bridge when I come to it.

> It's part of the title. Jack Gantos is the author. I haven't read either
of
> these though, it's a Mrs R recommendation.

I'm going to check it out, please tell the lovely Mrs R thanks for the
tip-off.

> Will do, by Sunday at least.

Looking forward to it.

> I've mainly got him on various compilations and remixes but like the stuff
> I've heard. Ninja albums cost a fucking fortune over here as they're
> imported from the UK rather than local releases. Same with Pork, Splinter,
> Nuphonic, G-Stone etc... I have a wholesaler for the reggae but have to
buy
> electronic/dance very sparingly.

When's your birthday?

> Christ, what the *** is a glitchy beat? How will I know? Maybe your next
> send should be something that you hate, just so I know.

I'll try to include an example of what I'm talking about. I'd never even
heard it called 'glitchy beats'(or 'glitch beats', I forget which) until
recently, but as soon as I read that I thought it was a good descriptive
term for them. Those ones where the drums don't sound like drums, they
sound like nasty little noises like electrical sound equipment and
computers'n'*** make when they go slightly wrong, a touch of static, a
touch of white noise, a little mingmonged in the timing. Aphex Twin used
them a lot, when he wasn't too busy making stuff I did like. The term comes
from the term for the sound you get when your music software fucks up
slightly in the middle of making a sound, and it's called a 'glitch'. Music
with 'glitchy beats' is where they make those sounds deliberately,
rhythmically, in place of proper fucking percussion like kicks and snares
and hats and toms and bongos and congas and tablas and maracas and
cymbals'n'***.

You get them more in the experimental 'leftfield' kinds of electronica
rather than the slightly more vanilla dubby or funky ***, although the
likes of Vibert and Howie B and Bent and Boards Of Canada and the Pork
Records lot and all the rest don't really use them which is probably why I
like their stuff.

Anyway, *** it, I'll send you something.


--
Joe

"Where the *** is my entry?" - Sir Benjamin Nunn




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