Re: Stop me if you've heard this before

"Joe Horowitz" <joeunderscorehorowitz@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in
news:TGg3f.20649$U9.12168@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:

>
> I think I can see where this is heading, and no I don't know if Juicy
> will still make it to NZ on her travels. I'll keep you posted.

No chance. I'd get a thick ear. She's welcome to stay with us of course but
she'll have to try to keep her hands off me.

> even after years and years and years, because they're too fucking
> scared and ashamed to really explore their own sexuality and each
> other's. How many cunts go out with each other for ages and never
> feel confident enough to tell each other what they'd _really_ like to
> try, and what would _really_ turn them on? I think it's loads. What
> a shame.

A huge amount. Sex & religion, it's what makes the world go square. To tie
this in with kiddies, sex and religion, you should read Philip Pullman's
Northern Lights trilogy. The theme there is how organised religion and
belief systems try to destroy our soul and *** us up.

>
> Also, and this is probably quite a controversial thing to say in
> today's mingmong values, but the girls I know who are completely
> relaxed about sex, and have fantastic sex lives, are generally the
> ones who lost their virginity at an early age and at some points went
> through periods of fairly heavy promiscuity. Ironic, that.

Probably true, I also know women who were very promiscuous in their
twenties who are a bit messed up now, having collected some dubious baggage
from some dubious people along the way. Life is an endlessly opening
conveyor of parameters and possibilities I guess, anything can happen.

>
> Of course, girls aren't allowed to be promiscuous without being
> resented for it, and disrespected by many men as being 'slags' while
> women, at best, look on with pity and wonder what sort of 'issues' the
> poor things must have to drive them into the arms of so many men.
> It's just not possible that they fucking enjoy it and are in control
> of getting a lot of something that they like.

Heh, very true.

>
> Dangerous generalisation, that, and sadly a little illustrative of
> what I'm talking about. I don't agree you have to be 'desperate' to
> get off on anything, in fact I think most cunts are embarassed to talk
> openly about what they really get off on for fear of provoking exactly
> just such a response. I don't even think most people get to choose
> what gets them off all the time, which means that whatever it is, it

I agree about the choice thing. What gets you off is developed over time
from a million different influences. From your mum breast feeding you to
the fact you got a hard on when some jerk was giving you a right big kick
in the arse, or the priest giving your bollocks a tickle in the
confessional box, or the soap the girl who sat next to you in class used to
use. In the same way, I think that our perceptions of women are hammered
into us from an early age and this leads to a load of stereotyped thinking
on beauty, sexuality, hatred and violence. Show a picture of a page 3 girl
to a Kalahari bushman and will they find the image sexually attractive?
Maybe, maybe not.

> is by default as 'natural' a desire as anything else because it's
> something their body and mind did without pre-meditation. So, you end
> up in a world where millions of men have porn, and have to hide it
> from their missuses for all sorts of cunty reasons, ranging from
> 'she'll think I'm a sicko' to 'she'll laugh at me' to 'she'll think it
> means she can't satisfy me' to 'she'll fucking leave me'. Again, what
> a fucking shame.

Why do women overwhelmingly find porn either pathetic, laughable and/or
despicable while men overwhelmingly find it arousing. Surely there's a root
cause of relationship dishonesty and a load of the other *** that makes
the world a mad place right there. Sure some women love porn and some men
hate it, why can't the world be filled with equal amounts of men and women
who love/hate it so everyone can get together on an equal basis? Maybe so
many women hate porn because it's a bit crap for them. If it's a bit crap
for them but their blokes love it then what does it say about their
relationships? And we're back to that old honesty argument again.

>
> Porn can be an exceptionally useful tool in a relationship, as a
> continual source of new ideas'n'*** to try. If that's not your
> thing, then that's fine as well, for all the reasons given above, but
> I don't like to see anyone belittled for the simple reason of what
> flicks certain switches in their loins and what doesn't.

I don't think I've explained myself very well on this subject overall and
the last thing I want to do is come across like some anti-porn crusading
judgemental *** because I'm not. What I'm trying to say I suppose is that
from what I've seen of porn it almost seems to excude women so I don't
quite get what all the fuss is about. That may sound weird being as porn is
full of naked women, another way of describing it is that it seems to
include women's bodies but not their minds, thoughts, speech etc... And if
you take that out of sex then what you have left is flesh rubbing flesh.

If I gaze at beautiful naked women I get a boner just like any other het
man but I've never made the leap from there to becoming an avid seeker.
Obviously I'm in the minority and I won't knock what the majority are
getting off on, it's just the way I see it.

My brother has a great book called "Caught looking" that looks at porn over
the last couple of hundred years. It has excellent photos from the 19th
century, eary 20th etc... and makes you realise that your great great
grandad loved beaver shots and hardcore as much as any 17 year old male
today. The pictures are very different to today though, the women are all
sorts of ages, shapes and sizes, the men are all thin and everyone's having
a laugh. I like those pic's and find them more human and loving even, than
what I've seen of the modern stuff. But I haven't seen a huge amount of
modern stuff so I may just be talking out of my arse.

>
> I had these kind of liberal parents who, when you're very young and
> you ask what the *** they were doing last night and what all that
> noise was when they thought you were asleep, don't get the least bit
> embarassed about it and explain it all with brutal honesty. Sure, it
> did *** with my head a little at first because it's such an odd thing
> to try to get your head around at that age, but I'm sure that having
> longer to prepare myself mentally for a sex life has been the part of
> the reason why I'm so comfortable with it all now, and hence why I
> maybe get more out of it than most, with fewer drawbacks and emotional
> hardships. Perhaps.

I didn't. Mine were tight arses where the subject was highly frowned upon.
I had big brothers though so knowledge, filth and porn were in reasonably
good supply.

>
> I definitely wouldn't change the way I was brought up in this respect,
> and from as early as any children I might one day have want to know
> about sex, they can fucking well bet I'm not going to give them any
> bull*** whatsoever. I won't have them growing up thinking sex is
> something shameful to be scared of.

Agreed. I've tried to be open with my kids. They had kids sex education
books when they were really young. My youngest thought they were hilarious
when he was 5. I've recently had chats about periods with my oldest boy
because he asked me. I loved the fact that he asked so I certainly wasn't
going to turn him away.

>
> Heh. I'd probably draw the line at offering to show my son how to
> wank like that bloke in Happiness, but you have to give credit for the
> arguments that scene raised. It's a real shame you would _definitely_
> go to prison for quite genuinely trying to help your children to
> understand something that will form a major focal point of the rest of

Yeh, I have to start talking to him about this stuff very soon and I
haven't yet. Damn, must get onto it. Wanking's interesting because you only
do it for pleasure whereas sex has a basic biological function. This has
allowed all the kids literature to concentrate on intercourse for making
babies whereas good old masturbation is much more problematic. I honestly
don't know how I'd explain to him that it's fun when your *** gets hard
and you can yank on it till a load of weird white stuff comes out. This
probably won't seem remotely pleasurable to him at all, more likely
horrifying. He likes chocolate, and sports and PlayStation'n'***. His ***
is for pissing out of thank you very much.

> just bought "GUN DEATH KILL!!11one111!monthly!1!" magazine didn't get
> sniggered at even slightly, and kids didn't grow up thinking women's
> bodies were something for which we should all be very ashamed. That
> sort of thing.

Beautiful stuff Joe, agree with all of that. What about girls with guns
though? That's got to have something going for it?

>
>> Photo's Joe, we need photo's. Your workmates will think you've been
>> in a pissed up argument.
>
> My workmates today were great, especially the other departmental
> managers in the fortnightly ops meeting who made sure to use terms
> like 'let's not move the goalposts' and the suchlike as often as
> possible. Heh.
>
> Cunts.

Heh, good, it's the only way you'll get ahead.

>
>> The only mental profiling stuff I've done was the left-brain,
>> right-brain tests. I came out in the middle. Mrs R was off the scale
>> to the right, arty bint.
>
> I have no idea where I am on that thing. No idea at all. Is there an
> online version to hand?

Vicky had some kind of bloat up somewhere in his thread, haven't checked it
out yet. I'm pretty jaundiced about personality testing as a whole but
couldn't really argue with this one telling me I'm neither one thing or the
other, or both.

>
>> I'll check it out. I read lots, but I read slowly. I usually have
>> 20-30 books stacked up at any one time.
>
> Huh. I read hardly ever, and very quickly. I'll have one book on the
> go which I'll read obsessively until it's finished, then not read
> another one for a year or something.
>
> We're really not all that similar, you and me, are we.

Who the *** are you?

>
>> Well there's good manly and dumb *** manly. Mrs R mentions authors I
>> might like to read on how to be a good dad.
>
> Jesus. Subtlety not her strong point, then?

Heh, I don't think she was calling me a ***, she's just a great believer
in fine tuning these things.

>
>> She's brought a couple home
>> for herself to read. I look at them but can't get too serious about
>> it as they seem to conclude that you should be honest, straight
>> talking and give the little blighters lots of hugs and lots of time,
>> and tell them that you love them. I think that I do this and it's all
>> common sense really. It worries me that it has to be put in a book
>> like it's some kind of secret knowledge hidden from dumb shits.
>
> AWTWP. I know a girl, good friend, who is a single parent with no
> money, who generally feels pretty shitty that her son misses out on so
> much that his friends can have. I really disagree with that, and I
> happen to think he's an extremely lucky young man because she loves
> him to bits and brings him up to a very lovely set of values, and has
> surrounded him with intelligent, imaginative and open-minded adults
> who all love him collectively enough to make up for anything. Myself

I don't think you can organise life lessons for your kids at all really.
They see what you're up to and make their own decisions. If you buy them
heaps but never give them any time they'll still think you're a ***, but
they'll take the goods. If you can't afford to give them anything but time
they'll think you're a bit of a wastrel and no-hoper but be quite fond of
you. I have a mate who has two lovely teenage girls. As they've gotten
older they know all about his dope smoking and porn surfing and they treat
him like their hopelessly lovable older brother. It's nice, and a little
strange.

>
> I'm quite sure you make an excellent parent, btw, truly outstanding,
> and nothing you've ever said has led me to believe otherwise. I bet
> your fucking kids are great.
>
> I mean that.

I get out of bed in the middle of the night when I'm feeling like a sack of
*** to take them to the toilet cos they're a bit scared. I throw some
hoops with them when I'm dog tired at the end of the day and just want to
park my arse on the couch. I think they do ok. My eldest spent all his
pocket money on a ghastly fucking rasta wig for me while I was away on
business a few months ago, because he knows I like reggae. I had to spend a
few mortifying moments trying it out for him after that, how could I not.

>
>> Heh, Mrs R's just informed me that we own "The curious incident of
>> the dog in the night-time. She says if you liked that one try "What
>> would Joey do - Joey Pigza". Funny and quite bittersweet young adult
>> book as well.
>
> Is 'Joey Pigza' the author or part of the title? And if it's the
> latter, who is the author?

It's part of the title. Jack Gantos is the author. I haven't read either of
these though, it's a Mrs R recommendation.

>
>> No hurry, no stress. I'm happy to send a couple away regardless.
>
> Actually, do so, because I've lost track a bit anyway and I've lost
> your gheymail address.

Will do, by Sunday at least.

>
>> No I haven't but I'm a big fan of Luke Vibert in general. A very
>> clever and very funky ***. A little like DJ Vadim IMO, also a
>> very clever ***.
>
> Not so familiar with DJ Vadim. Did you ever hear 'Songs Of The
> Nightlife" and all that other stuff Vibert did with that old
> zither-playing C&W ***? I really liked that. I like a lot of that

I've mainly got him on various compilations and remixes but like the stuff
I've heard. Ninja albums cost a fucking fortune over here as they're
imported from the UK rather than local releases. Same with Pork, Splinter,
Nuphonic, G-Stone etc... I have a wholesaler for the reggae but have to buy
electronic/dance very sparingly.

> stuff, actually, all that experimental electronica, just so long as it
> doesn't have those 'glitchy' beats. I just can't seem to love any
> track I've ever heard with glitchy beats, I've no idea why that is.
> It just always sounds *** to me.
>
> Don't ever send me a track with weird*** glitchy beats. I won't like
> it.
>

Christ, what the *** is a glitchy beat? How will I know? Maybe your next
send should be something that you hate, just so I know.

--

Cheers, Os
.