New Element Discovered



Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute
amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less
than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron
promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed
whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity
is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons."

Redman


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Relevant Pages

  • Re: OT...govt. bureaucracy for Jeanne :-)
    ... neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving ... These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, ... Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; ...
    (rec.crafts.textiles.quilting)
  • Re: A newbie question . . . for the new path I am taking
    ... But he starts by talking about the stability ... > Lots of morons learned stability using those pre-fab kits. ... >> neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass ... Since governmentium has no electrons, ...
    (rec.models.rockets)
  • NEW ELEMENT FOUND (science humor)
    ... neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 ... Since Governmentium has no electrons, ... since each reorganization will cause more morons to ...
    (sci.geo.geology)
  • Re: NEW ELEMENT FOUND (science humor)
    ... neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 ... Since Governmentium has no electrons, ... since each reorganization will cause more morons to ...
    (sci.geo.geology)
  • Para JFK
    ... The new element has been named *Governmentium*. ... one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 ... assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. ... reorganization will cau se more morons to become neutrons, ...
    (soc.culture.venezuela)