A little jest.
- From: "rock" <peace@xxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2005 21:50:58 GMT
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November 2004
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will
take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private
Function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and
plenty
Of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional
carols...please
Feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows
Up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at
1.00p.m...
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time,
however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of
gifts
easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for
employees! The
MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday,
which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not
this
year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday
Party'..
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not
Christians.
There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We
will have
other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign
your name.
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a
table
that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!How
am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift
exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union
Officials feel
that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is
a
little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline.
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November 2004
RE: Holiday Part
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th
begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating
and
drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!
Seriously, we
can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not
accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill
House can
hold
off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else
package
everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag.
Will
that
work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit
farthest
from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table
closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each
other,
Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their
own
table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table
too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross
dressing
allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat
food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control
the
salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood
pressure taste the food first... There will be fresh fruits as
dessert
for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts.
Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
Pauline.
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2004
RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going
to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or
not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the
"grill of
death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f******
salad bar,
including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling
too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.
I'm
hearing the scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten
holiday,
drink drive and die.
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th November 2004
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a
speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In
the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday
Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
December off
with full pay.
Diane
.
- Prev by Date: Something that Islamic Science might adopt
- Next by Date: Re: Jesus considers women as dirt
- Previous by thread: Something that Islamic Science might adopt
- Next by thread: Re: Hello
- Index(es):
Relevant Pages
|
