Re: Church of Christ in Australia

On 24 Oct, 21:51, Quasin <qua...@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Where in the NT is the command to honour your father and mother
repeated?

It is the first commandment with promise.

How does one "honor father and mother" when they were/are habitually
abusive?

Real question, on behalf of one of the gals in the little Bible study
group. She has decided she has to never see her father again because he
still physically gropes and verbally belittles her, while her Mom still
denies anything is happening or ever did or if it did it's the
daughter's fault. (Rape is a child's fault?)

Today a blind and physically handicapped young friend expects to be
abducted by her abusive father. I pray that her rescue plans work out.
The child is often a willing partner according to the abusive parent
and often the easiest course for the rest of the family is not to
believe the victim.
It's hard to honour a parent that has been abusive in any way but I
think it's important to try or the memories are a slow poison.
Start with forgiving, Christ's forgiving of us gives us power to
forgive.
Thanks to Christ the past is redeemed, we no longer live there, we are
a new creation and the only reason that we need visit the past is to
give testimony to how God has worked in our lives. The present and the
future are ours and we are not our own we are bought with a price.
Go on to try to understand the abusive parent. The pattern of
behaviour could well have been learned in their childhood for example.
This is important because the fear, though often unspoken, is that the
weaknesses and abusive behaviour, the mental illness or whatever could
be inherited. A wise person once said to me "Christians are freed from
generational curses"
Finally comes the difficult bit, 'see' the abusive parent with our
Saviour's compassion, find the everyday ordinary things and the good
and acknowledge them and don't let the evil hide them. Find the
strength to hold the good alongside the bad and accept that both are
true. However small the happy memories and good characteristics don't
let the bad obliterate them because it is the place where the parent
can be honoured and in that acceptance that there was some good there
is a way to move forward away from the effects of the abuse.

Celia
.