Re: The family of God?

fergus wrote:
It's talked about a lot but what does it mean? Anything?

Thirty years ago, when I was going through a particularly stressful
time while trying to help a psychotic friend and his family, I found
the album by "Achor" very encouraging because it spoke of God's care
for His people in a way which spoke to me. I could just listen and
feel the Spirit refreshing me after a draining session. But there was
one track on that album which I could hardly bear listening to. It
started out by saying "We are never alone, God has given us His
family". To which my gut reaction was "Rubbish!", or words to that
effect. The only sense in which that was true for me was in the same
sense that we are never alone because God has given us cities to live
in.

But, presumably, that's not what they meant. Neither, presumably, is
it what is intended when preachers and house group leaders talk about
being the family of God. But I really don't know what they do mean,
even thirty years later.

It seems to me that churches are little different from any other
groupings of people, despite the billing. If you are part of the "in
crowd" then you are welcomed into the bosom of the community, you can
give and receive support, love and camaraderie. If we don't fit the
mold then we are virtually invisible and are condemned to see all the
good stuff happening around us while being totally unable to be a part
of it. At best, we're met with sympathetic incomprehension when we try
to explain our situation to anyone else.

I don't know what Hell is like but I can easily imagine it as a place
where we're put in solitary confinement, with maybe only mild physical
discomfort, but where we can see, through a transparent but
impenetrable barrier, all the fun being had in Heaven. Not unlike the
picture of Dives and Lazarus, I guess. There is plenty of opportunity
to get a foretaste of that while being a member of a lively, and
genuinely spiritual, church.

I've been a member of my present church for about 10 years now, ever
since I moved to where I now live. I arrived just after an unfortunate
split from my wife and, perhaps not surprisingly, wasn't feeling at my
strongest. I was given a good welcome when I arrived at the church
and, after expressing an interest, was invited to a housegroup. Again
they were very welcoming and the leader got everyone to introduce
themselves and say a little about themselves, mainly for my benefit. I
was quite open about my situation and hoped, perhaps naively, that I'd
get some support while I was coming to terms with my "new situation"
and maybe even given a hand to become a part of the fellowship.

What actually happened was that it was never mentioned again. In fact,
the following week someone made a comment, in connection with
something else, along the lines of "isn't it great that christian
marriages don't fail like non-christian marriages". I was gobsmacked
that they could have been so insensitive (as well as so ignorant).
They did apologise afterwards but that was still the last time there
was any mention of my situation and there never was any meaningful
support or help available.

When you say there was none available, did you ask and were denied
help/support?


The church provided a benign and homely atmosphere which I appreciated
and I continued to attend the services and the housegroups and take
part in some of the practical work. Nevertheless, I wasn't able to
make friends in the church in the sense of people I'd meet outside of
church events. I did try to reach out to others and did, what for me
was a very brave thing, and invited one couple, the one which I
thought I'd be most likely to be able to strike up a frindship with,
round for dinner. While that was a pleasant evening it didn't change
anything. They mentioned the evening several times afterwards but
always in terms of being impressed with my culinary abilities and that
somehow put them off reciprocating. I guess that's as good a way of
keeping people at a distance as any. The truth is that while my style
of cooking might be different from theirs, it is not any better. I
found that very discouraging.

I have been a Christian for the past 4 /12 years and a member of my church
for most of that time. Like you, I felt very 'welcomed' initially but I
guess as your face becomes more familiar, this wears off somewhat. We were
initially invited to dinner by several different people within the church
and we duely reciprocated. What followed was a period where we really had
to find our feet and discover who our friends in the church were as it all
seemed to 'dry up'.

My conclusions are: that common areas of service often spark up friendships
but personalities also have a lot to do with it. There are people who I
love as my brother/sister in Christ but personally struggle with them as our
personalities just don't particularly gel. I am happy to say that there
are about 4 people [women] that I know I could phone anytime of the day or
night and they would listen to me, pray for me, be with me if I was in need.
This has taken time and much effort [on my part] in getting over a large
rejection issue that I had. For a long time, I was convinced that people
were not interested in being my friend, I jumped to conclusions about what
they thought about me and I made assumptions that were entirely false. It
took a while before I realised that actually I had to risk being rejected in
order to see if there was friendship there for me, occasionally there wasn't
but usually there was. Of course, I only had the strength to do this through
learning about God's complete love and acceptance of me and how my security
was in him not in approval from others.

I am in no way suggesting that you have a rejection thang going on, but I
do think that it is easy to think 'once bitten twice shy' and this can make
us unwilling to take the first step in reaching out to others, in order to
be reached out to ourselves. We cannot expect the church to do this or
that for us just because we know the people in it should be 'loving one
another' etc, but we can be proactive in trying to meet the needs we see
around us in the church. Do you think there are others in your church who
maybe feel as you do? Why not reach out to them? You may surprised at how
blessed you may be by the very person you reach out to.

I know that I would not be in the situation of feeling very loved by my
church family if I had not risked rejection by first reaching out to those
around me, making myself vulnerable to them [asking for help when I needed
it], being honest etc etc.

Jewelsx

snip to end<
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: OT: host desecration or hate crime?
    ... Catholics as the Eucharist and believed to be the body of Christ, ... show to his non-Catholic friend" ... "Cook said he just wanted to show the Eucharist to a friend he brought ... in his pocket for removing it from the church, ...
    (talk.origins)
  • Re: Republicans publishing their own version of science
    ... > Life has managed with and even capitalized on toxic chemicals many times. ... > I do not know about the Church ever being a friend to Galileo. ...
    (talk.origins)
  • Re: The family of God?
    ... I've been a member of my present church for about 10 years now, ... but personalities also have a lot to do with it. ... were not interested in being my friend, I jumped to conclusions about what ... I am in no way suggesting that you have a *rejection* thang going on, ...
    (uk.religion.christian)
  • Re: Exorcism in Novena Church
    ... So she becomes a vegetable for being possessed and she blames the church? ... children and friend were asked to remain outside. ... wheras defendent claims that only the prayer session was held. ... blotched exorcism (nothing from the defendents this time to contrast as ...
    (soc.culture.singapore)
  • Re: Port Insecurity?
    ... M.L. Dante wrote: ... After years of expensive therapy integrating 9 personalities I ... for donations to church charities... ...
    (alt.religion.islam)