wisdom and counsel needed thanx in advance

Sorry to bother u all with this request for wise Christian counsel....

Pr 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of
counsellors there is safety.


Pr 24:6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude
of counsellors there is safety.


Ok so i am the worse wannabe Christian around...freely admitted....not
worthy to shovel the excretement of sinners let alone saints.....And
really i ought not to be a Christian at all if indeed i really am
one!!! I dont even know if i am a Christian or not anymore!!!

I also freely concede that when it comes to attendance at Temple Ritual
ie Church attendance....i am absolutely terrible....i turn up for a
couple of weeks and then disapear again for months and then turn up
again for a few weeks and then disapear.....

So in the midst of all this i find my self back in the middle of a " o
heck i really ought to attend Church more often" and so i went to
Church on Sunday night just gone....it was mentioned on Sunday nite by
a deacon that perhaps i might like to attend to the prayer meeting on
the Tuesday nite.....so i decided to attend.....in the vain of " o heck
i really ought to attend Church more often" and really get off to a
good start this time and really make a go of it.....

So Tuesday comes round....it is also my birthday ....so mysister
arrives and we chat....she tells me of the horrendous drug problems
that she encounters with the youth she works with.....so i say well
sis!!! I admire u greatly for the work u do with the yoof.....tell ya
wot....i am going to a Christian prayer meeting tonite....i will see if
i can pray for the yoof and the drug problems.....and
yourself.....surely the Christian Church is into trying to get ppl into
Jesus and off drugs......


So i turn up at the prayer meeting.....and pray....in my turn and last
after everyone else had prayed.....
When the meeting is over the pastor grabs me and asks me for a quick
word in private....so off we go and i get the worst chastisement i have
ever had off a pastor in a Christian Church ever.....he asks me not to
attend any more prayer meetings for the time being....he tells me that
since i am so erratic in my attendance that i have no right to pray at
the prayer meeting.....he tells me that since i am such a stranger to
the Church i am not in tune wih their prayer vision for the
Church......he also says i can still attend the normal meetings of the
Church and when i have proven my reliability to the Church by
attendanceon a regular basis then perhaps i can attend the prayer
meetings when i am more in tune with the Churches vision......

So that is that.....wot do others think?

1) is this all my own fault as i am so lackadaisical in my attendance
that i deserved everything i got and more??

2) this is not the way to encourage pple to attend???

in any event and at risk of eternal hell fire.....(unless someone here
has a really strong word for me...) i will not be going back to the
Church. I cannot meet the attendance criteria....and also i cannot meet
the righteousness criteria....so therefore i wud be a hypocrite to go
back.....i cannot as yet go back.....i just do not get on with the
pastor....

so any and all comments greatfully accepted....including hostile
comments and also comments that agree with the pastor.....

but i do need some confirmation here...

again thanx for your time.....


and your input
.

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