Why boats are like women

Not copied from anywhere....
Why boats ARE like women.

They have sexy lines
They cost a fortune to run
They leak if neglected
They can be very hard to start first thing in the morning
They need tying up at night
They moan loudly if you rub them up the wrong way
They are all over the place if you take your eye off them
They drink
They smoke
They can be loud and brassy
It takes ages to apply their make-up
They can be cold and forbidding
They can be warm and moist
They need regular pumping out
They can't read maps
They never know where they're going
They attract flies and spiders if neglected
Their bottoms are wet
Their sides are stiff
They give you stern looks if you fall behind
They give you black looks if you fall over sideways
They will leave you behind if you don't hang on to them
They can be gay
They can be proud
They can like a bit of rough

But also....
They bang you in the head if you don't duck in time.

Tone
.

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