Re: Home-Group Agreements

On Tue, 30 Oct 2007 09:08:37 -0000, "Dave"
<dave.barwickns@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:


"Ewan Scott" <ewanscott@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:9e7ci3doanq3381k4pjgsnf6v0ac6e67rm@xxxxxxxxxx
SNIP
fair enough, but nonetheless, you are vicariously telling the parent
their kid has misbehaved and expect them to do something about it.
Which is fine in school but a very different issue in Scouts where we
rely on trust.


We do rely on trust - and they have failed by misbehaving.

That of course does not mean that they have to loose their trust in us, but
somewhere along the line they have to accept that their behaviour is such
that it is not acceptable.

At that point they are put in the position that they stay and play the
game, or leave.

It is fine taking time to discuss issues with them during the meeting if you
have the manpower to take a kid out and do that, but at the end of the day
when you have discussed their issues and you discover that they want to be
there but they wish to do it in their way you have to make a decision
whether you accept their terms or whether you have to discuss them being
there with their parents.

Not an issue. Short sharp bollocking. For most I just need to call
their name.

But in time they will either join in or leave. If they waste time for
the rest they will shortly incur the wrath of the others. Which over
the years has been isolation, being the *** of the joke ( cos the
rest want to be on the Leaders' side so they turn on the miscreant
making him the loser. I'm sure we have all heard of other peer
punishments...


How long do you allow it to continue though. What if they do enjoy being the
centre of attention and causing trouble. The peer group may either actup
with them or if they have had enough just deck them - then you have to
explain that to others.

They may enjoy being the centre of attention initially, but they soon
lose interest when they realise that no-one is laughing with them any
more. You show the rest that this kid is behaving like a moron and
they will think he's a moron too. ( Equally, when you go over the top
they tell you that you have been too harsh - which is fair).


We once had a Scout who was always talking when it was inappropriate - it
was at one St Georges Parade that another Scout fed up with his constant
drivel he was punched. Who was at fault here.

As I said, they become subject of peer punishment. I don't condone
violence, but I'll let the "victim" know he had it coming and the
attacker will have it quietly explained that this is not the way we
should deal with things.

It is a long term investment when you deal with someone rather than
sending them home. And, it also protects others in the long term if
you can retain their complete trust.

If they change their ways I agree but if they continue to turn up and
distupt they help nobody and it certainly would not give me any enjoyment.

The point is that they don't continue turning up. They settle down or
they quit of their own volition.

I've had a few leave rather than toe the line.
I've had two or three go somewhere where the discipline was, er, not
so, how shall we say, controlled.
I've had two parents ask me what the problem is, and I've told them to
ask their son/ daughter.

I've only once told a parent and I was so wrong on so many levels that
I'll never do it again. (And I did it to shut the parent up because
they were blaming all and sundry for their kids' problems but not
looking on their own doorstep).

Ewan Scott
http://www.claytonwestscouts.org.uk

http://www.whitleybeaumont.co.uk

I tell them that if a parent asks, I won't lie.
.

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