Re: Credit Crunch hits home - My daughter's worried about her savings...


"DVH" <dvh@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:48f87a4f$0$503$bed64819@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What you all need is a CEO for the Onlyme Investment Bank. I suggest
myself. I am willing to forgo bonuses for a year to show I'm not
greedy.

I'm willing to be auditor.

I have no training, so I'm perfectly qualified.



Right then lol.
It seems we now have the team put together
We have the startup funds (my daughter's £40)
As with the councils re council-taxpayers...as holder of these funds, and
following expert government advice, I have to invest this in a way that
maximises the return.
The government have promised to underwrite the investment via the monthly
child benefit payment...so my daughter's 'investment' is secure.
The 'futures' market in child benefit payments is looking good for the next
few years....potentially giving a much higer level of credit than I
currently have reserves to cover....
But I'm sure an auditor with your training will not spot that lol.
And the CEO will take all the flak for me when this goes tits up.

Meanwhile, we need a foreign customer desperate enough to pay us to take
their toxic debt off their hands....just cross it off their books and write
it to ours lol.
It doesn't matter that the value of our debts far outstrip the value of our
assets...

As a UK investment bank, we should be ok ....I hear the government are on a
buying spree...

We may eventually need to allow someone from HMG to sit in on our board
meetings though.
I suggest Gordon Brown himself....then at least we can all give him a good
kicking!


.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: The Need for a Budget Deficit
    ... >> government borrowing and spending. ... >> sector to provide assets, ... >> and reduced investment in plants because of reduced demand ... >> into savings accounts or the capital market; ...
    (sci.econ)
  • Re: Lame Duck Repubs Plot Peru Trade Vote
    ... Republicans Plan Lame-Duck Peru Trade Vote ... The U.S.-Peru deal's investment rules deserve special scrutiny. ... protections for private foreign investors that are virtually identical to ... Some of the investment rules the U.S. government is promoting actually make ...
    (soc.culture.peru)
  • Re: Canadian Scientists Warn Of New Ice Age
    ... The media have warned of impending climate changes for at least the last ... Both funds are closed to further investment. ... But without government action on climate change, some business analysts ...
    (alt.sports.football.pro.ne-patriots)
  • Re: Solution to Soc Sec problem
    ... >> tax rate ... >> I assume that government spending does not add to the private sector. ... a Chinese purchase of Treasuries/Bonds is not an "investment"? ...
    (sci.econ)
  • Re: GIC rank third worst in the world
    ... government contacts to pursue their investment objectives. ... increase their accountability to the citizens of their own countries, ... anticipation of, or in response to, the activities of SWFs; ...
    (soc.culture.singapore)
Loading