Re: You were right Rowland
- From: real-address-in-sig@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Rowland McDonnell)
- Date: Sat, 13 Sep 2008 05:00:35 +0100
gandalff <gandalff@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi
Yes, I'm afraid your comments were 100% correct,
<wry grin> It's a bugger, innit?
after my first 3/4 days of
euphoria, I can feel myself slowly going down hill again. I hope it doesn't
last for long.
You have /some/ control over yourself. Don't be a passive observer of
your own state. If you see yourself going down the tubes, take some
action to stop it. Just getting some outdoor exercise can be useful -
light and air and moving the blood around, that sort of thing.
It won't stop you going down the tubes a bit, but it can (will, with
luck) stop you getting stuck down, if you see what I mean; help you come
up a bit sooner than you would have done otherwise even if on the day in
question, you end up feeling much worse or whatever.
The good news is that the `down' your getting now - being soon after
you've stopped the heavy drugging - is an unusually bad `down'. If you
pull yourself up, subsequent plunges caused by the same mechanism will
be less severe.
I'm hoping it's simply because of the large drop in my meds
and that I may soon "level off"
Think `roller coaster'. Don't expect to find a settling point this
side of old age.[1]
Look, get this right, and you'll have ups and downs, but they'll get
less severe as time goes by until finally, you'll reach the state where
the ups and downs are mild enough that they're not a problem (or at
least, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it).
Get it wrong, and you'll just fall off the track and crash and burn and
end up as a cabbage again.
And that's the problem: getting it wrong is much easier to do, and much
easier to live. It's easy to do - but not very nice. You want the
outcome that's nice - but it's bloody hard work compared to the not-nice
route.
but it is a hard struggle at times to buck
myslf up and force myself to do things.
Yep. But think about it: just how long have you been a useless cabbage?
Years, yes? You can't expect to pull out of long-term cabbagehood in
one step. You've got to re-train yourself into non-cabbagehood, sort of
thing. Your mind and body will fight against attempts to do so but
you've got to get round that somehow.
Maybe soon things will change after
I have settled in on my now 15mg Mirtazapine daily. Becuse thinking about it
now in a more "clearer" state of mind, it is one hell of a comedown from
45mg Mirtazapine and 80mg Prozac, lol
You can think clearly now. Do so. THINK! And use your thoughts, use
the fact that your mind is working more usefully now. You're not some
passive passenger on the seas of life - you're in charge and you have to
do it all, too: you're the captain, the pilot, and the crew of the good
ship Gandalf. It's up to you to keep an eye on your own progress, on
your own state, and then do something about it.
The problem is that you've only got a small amount of control over the
things that are really critical in terms of your mental state. The best
you can do is try to set things up to enable you to be as functional as
possible in the most useful way you can think of overall - and hope that
things get gradually easier.
The most important thing to remember is this: taking time off to recover
from activity is important, but you need to avoid letting yourself slide
back into vegetating and if you do find yourself vegetating rather than
relaxing, just stop it as soon as you spot the problem (or as soon as
you can). The less time you spend vegetating, the quicker you'll get
back with it properly, if you see what I mean.
And now: get on and apply your brain to the job in hand: the job of
making yourself better.
Rowland.
[1] One of my rants:
And why not call the drugs you were on `drugs', instead of using an
abbreviation which is meant to suggest that diamorphine prescribed by a
doctor is somehow not the same drug as heroin bought by a junky -
despite the active chemical molecule being identical whether you call it
`diamorphine' or `heroin' or, in my case, `a drug that should only ever
be used for pain relief under the control of someone other than the
person taking it'.
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- References:
- You were right Rowland
- From: gandalff
- You were right Rowland
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