Unravelling

I started crying at work and I walked out. My job doesn't matter to me anymore. I haven't eaten since Saturday, barely slept. I did the hanging thing last night only I got results this time. I took the weight off my feet and the song I had playing started to fade. Next thing I remember is coming around gripping onto the wall with my body shaking uncontrollably. The left side of my face has gone partially numb, like I've had local anaesthetic.

I've probably lost the one thing that I had to live for. I got drunk and I fucked it all up. I can't believe what I did. I think I wanted to sabotage it because I find the intimacy so hard to cope with.

I have more serious problems than I ever realised. I'm falling apart. When I find out for sure that it's over, when I hear those words, I will get tanked on vodka and I believe it will be over.
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