Re: Look!!! He's acting a bit 'weird'!

On Jun 10, 1:44 pm, of mice and monkfish <fonkm...@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
On 10 Jun, 10:57, crissy <ms_cris...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:



On Jun 10, 10:05 am, firemonkey <tim...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Angel Eyes wrote:
As I said before, if we only allowed people suffering purely with
depression to post here then the group would be extremely quiet indeed,
almost non-existant!

Now, remind me nigel, which mental illness do you suffer with and what
are your reasons for posting to this group?

Even though Nigel is not, as far as i know, suffering from a mental
illness he is an interesting contributor to this group.
As for his position re Sgates i have mixed views. I will freely admit
that on a few occasions i have been banned from forums for behaving in a
similar manner to Sgates. Once was on the Rethink forums where due to be
being badly stressed by a fellow poster i was later told by yet another
poster i had made in the region of 70+ rather out there posts in a night!
Although the posts in themselves were not targetted at anyone ie just
generalised rants some people found them quite disturbing.
There was no intention to harm others(which i believe is the case with
Sgates) but nevertheless they did affect others in an adverse way
that may have been detrimental to their mental health.
There is no option on those forums to ignore posts by certain users as
there is the ability to use a killfile here.

Thee sheer volume of posts from Sgates over such a time would possibly
indicate that there is a degree of dysphoric mania/ mixed state going on.
It is very hard to reason with a person in the throws of such dysphoria
and therefore Sgates would not be someone who could currently be
reasoned with however that is not the same as saying he should find
somewhere else to post.
Better for him to unleash some of the verbal maelstrom here than in 3D..
Generally people here will be comparatively more understanding than in 3D.

Going back to Nigel finally. I think one could find as much fault in the
villification of Nigel as one could the stance he has taken over Sgates.
Indeed where is the difference between Nigel's belief that Sgates should
post elsehere and your very  pointed

'Now, remind me nigel, which mental illness do you suffer with and what
are your reasons for posting to this group?@

Sgates should be here .Whether one chooses to read/reply to his posts or
indeed killfile him is down to the indiividual.

It is good for us as mentally ill people that Nigel as a non mentally
ill person is here and it would be better still if more such people were
willing to engage here and in doing so get a better idea of what we go
through as mentally ill people.

It would be a sad day if the likes of Sgates and indeed Nigel were
driven away by a pitch fork mentality.

I felt this too but didn't have the guts to get involved since I agree
with both of them to a large extent - I read one side & agree, then
the other & see their pov also.

That's reasonable.  There are no easy black-and-white answers.



I don't think anyone should try to stop sgates posting & I also regret
having said he was a PITA but actually I also somewhat resent not
being able to say he is a PITA if that's the way I feel, since I doubt
it would have affected him & if I can't say what truly bugs me then it
may not be worth me posting here anyway.

For one thing, this is a support group, and perhaps it is not
unreasonable to ask people to show more consideration than usual when
someone is having a tough time of it - and to show more consideration
the tougher time of it they are having.  That is certainly an attitude
that has set us in good stead before now.

But if someone is pissing you off, you're fully entitled to say, "This
guy's pissing me off".  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  However,
if i see a mob of angry villagers gathering in the market square,
waving their pitchforks and so forth, i think i am entitled to point
out that that is what is happening.

The one thing does not negate the other.  They exist side by side.



What I find most distressing isn't sgates or people saying anything
about him but the palpable anger that I detect in these long winded
acrimonious arguments between different members of the group which
result in name-calling & it is these types of posts that I think would
put a newbie off.

Another valid point.

But i'm only human, and when i see someone who is vulnerable and
already obviously suffering getting singled out for what seems to me
to be abuse, then that makes me angry.  I'm sorry, but that's just the
way i am.

Actually, no, i'm not sorry at all.

As for the exchange between nigel and i, there were certain manoevures
taking place on one side - highly selective snipping, for example -
that were, from where i am sitting, blatantly dishonest attempts to
avoid, by any means possible, a fair discussion.  And this also makes
me angry.  He was cheating, dammit.  And when he got caught red-
handed, he just carried on trying, hoping that if he tried it often
enough he'd get away with it.  Which angered me still further.

So it is a subject i admit i am already extremely 'touchy' about,
while the manner in which the discussion was being conducted did
nothing to calm my enflamed emotions.

I can see how anyone - not just newbies - might be put off by such a
vigorous debate.  But i also hope they can appreciate the fundamental
importance of the issues under discussion - especially in the context
of a group such as this one - and forgive the ardour of the
engagement.  The spectacle was no doubt unsavoury, and to those who
found it upsetting, i can only apologise.

Having said all that, no one is forcing anyone to follow this thread.
Once it had become obvious in which direction the exchange was
heading, those who found the anger on evidence distressing could have,
and perhaps should have, stopped reading.  I can't make anyone else's
decisions for them, nor would i want to.



Can't we just put this behind us & as I've been advised in the past,
shake hands & get back to trying to make this a support group.

Sure, why not.  A fine idea  : )

monkfish

I don't feel up to answering all your points but generally I totally
agree with all you've said - it's just that when there's fighting
between 2 people I like, where I agree with both (& get confused how I
can, if they are such opposite views that the 2 are at loggerheads) I
get anxious for it to stop so both can feel better; Maternal instinct
maybe.
You're right, I should just stop reading - d'uh! especially when I'm
as anxious as I am atm.
Also I can see how hypocritical my stance is, since I've had angry
retorts with many in this group, well quite a few.
.

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