Re: My destiny will remain unknown

Rikk <richards.post@xxxxxxx> wrote:

I'm sorry, reading through my original post I have given you a misleading
account of events.
When I said I blame my wife for my depression and I thought about shooting
her.
I didn't really mean that I WOULD shoot her, its just one of the thousands
of irrational thoughts that go through my head.

*I* knew that - bleedin' obvious to anyone without porridge between
their ears.

This depression of mine is very severe and I know I have been an absolute
*** to live with for many years.

Is there no way you can take action to get yourself out of that state,
with or without assistance from someone else?

I have never been violent towards my
wife, but having said that for about the past 10 years I hardly bother with
her at all, I am incapable of showing any feelings towards her as I am to
wrapped up in my own thoughts.

These things are rarely one-sided. It's not all your fault any more
than it's all her's - can't be. For sure you've been wrapped up in
yourself due to - well, the depression or whatever it is. But she's
left you stew if nothing else. Bad karma on both sides, sort of thing.

Not that I'm attempting to apportion blame or anything like that. I
know nothing at all of any details and I don't want to pry.

This over the years has made her feel unloved
and neglected(obviously) I only wish I could turn the clock back and make it
up to her, because I know that in my heart I love her very much.
My other point is for Rowland witth regard the the firearm, I am licensed to
own/carry a shotgun as I am a bona-fida member of a shooting club,

Shotguns, still legal, not a problem. I've got a pretty much ex brother
in law with a shotgun *and* a rifle of his own. He handles guns at
work, mind - when he's not throwing spanners at recalcitrant armoured
vehicles.

also I
own quite a large small holding and am licensed to use a shotgun for the
use of vermin control and foxes that steal the chickens.

I don't personally have any particular problem with people owning
firearms. I'm only worried about mis-use of firearms - and making hand
guns illegal doesn't seem to have stopped crims getting handguns and
killing people with them, does it?

But having said
that, I have owned a shotgun for over twenty years and have never even took
a shot at a fox. After all they are only taking the chickens as a food
supply in order to survive.

Most of the time. Sometimes a fox will go a bit mental when faced with
chickens.

I have fired a few warning shots but would never
dream of actually killing the fox. I use three dogs instead who wander
around near the chicken runs at night and the foxes dont come anywhere near
the place. The firearm in question is a small bore hand shotgun a 9mm to be
exact,

9mm isn't particularly small bore - 0.3543" for those who prefer to
think that way. I'm told that size bullet makes a hell of a mess when
sprayed out of an Uzi machine pistol (or whatever the officla name for
them is. Data from aforementioned ex bro in law; he's got an excuse for
his interest in such things - self-preservation).

it fires 9mm cartridges in the same way a 12 bore would use 12 gauge
cartridges,

Not bullets, then?

but if I were to walk into sainsburys to buy a few provisions
with a pump action 12 bore shotgun slung over my shoulder, it would raise a
few eyebrows to say the least. The 9mm handgun is legal on my license as it
has a smooth barrel interior and it is not "rifled" or spiralled to take a
9mm bullet.

Hmm. Okay. I hadn't realised that smooth bore handguns were legal.

It is classed as "for the control of vermin" It is not that
powerful really, about as strong as a reasonably powerful air rifle.

!!! What kind of explosive gun fires a 0.3543" bullet with the energy
that even a souped up air rifle puts into a `big, fat' 0.22" pellet?

(Sorry, can't help thinking about that kind of thing, energy and
whatnot. Learnt to do `reality checks' on that sort of thing years
back. No firearms experience; it was the physics degree.)

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick - you mentioned `cartridges'.
Is that as in `firing small pellets shotgun style'?

Not at all relevant to your situation, I know: I'm just intrigued.

If you
were to try and adapt a 12 bore into a handgun the recoil upon discharge
would be that great you would never hit anything, plus you probably break
your wrist.

Well, yes.

I'm sorry for the confusion in my original post, but I'm not thinking too
clearly at the moment.

You didn't create any confusion that I could see: I saw confusion
created by someone who didn't want to understand what you wrote.
Malicious action on someone's part. We have trolls. CJD is one of
them.

I suppose what it all boils down to is if I were to leave, my wife would be
better of, plus she is young enough to restart her life with somebody else.
to be honest at the moment, I'm that confused I dont know wether I'm coming
or going

If that's your state of mind, best not do anything too final.

Rowland.

P.S. My email address is at the bottom of this message; you need to
unmangle it, but that's straightforward. Anyway, I don't want to give
any details here, but I've made an enquiry and got some information back
that might be of some small benefit to you. No, I know nothing whatever
about your personal situation in detail and no I've done no prying at
all.

--
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