Had enough of...

Parents who expect me to come running every time something goes wrong
with *their* computer (I don't do Windoze for free - if they want it
fixed they can sodding well pay me to fix it. I pay for my food, etc.,
and they demand free services. They won't run an AV, they use IE and
Outhouse Excrement, they open attachments from gods' only know where,
obviously without scanning 'em because they've not got anything to
scan 'em with; I'm running an online AV now and the system's riddled
with crap. Fortunately, it's taken me all day, but I've managed to fix
it (I think!) without having to reinstall the ruddy OS.

I'm now downloading a 30-day, uncrippled, trial of an AVP, and then,
tonight, I'll run PerfectDisk (a far superior disc defragmentation app
than the one included with 'doze which is, quite frankly, ***. PD
also defragments core system and boot files) tonight and that should
be that.

They also expect me to find £200+ for the full version of Office Pro
2007 (I can't afford the 'full' licence, but there are plenty of sites
selling the academic version). Oh, I daresay I'll get it back
eventually, but it's more than a week's money for me. I have to do it
soon because the trial they've been using is just about out.

I've spent most of the day screaming, crying, and shaking
uncontrollably (which obviously has meant that this whole thing has
taken about 10 times longer than it would have done when I was well).

I am alone. The only 2 people I can call friends are 200+ miles away.
I need a cuddle, not a virtual one - a *REAL* one. They (my parents)
have been on my case all week about Office (when they could easily
look themselves) and in my face to fix the problems *THEY* caused
today.

I just need someone to put their arms around me and hold me - I've had
enough. One of my friends suggested that I move up to be nearer her in
Manchester but, every time I contemplate the prospect, I become
paralysed and crippled with sheer terror and fear at the prospect.

I want out. And I mean *OUT*. I want to murder the pair of 'em; they
know damned fucking well I can't leave, and that's how they like it. I
have no support from any medical services here because they have
decreed that I should be denied it (please don't ask, I am in no fit
state to go into any kind of detail).

On top of all this, I've had disabling PMT for the past fortnight and
I know damned fucking well that I am *NOT* going to get a period this
time round (I had one a couple of months ago, and it's far too soon -
for those of you wondering, I have PCOS and PID which means my
reproductive system is well and truly fecked and, because I have IBS
my bowels are up *** creek* without the proverbial.


*I think that's supposed to be some kind of weak joke.

Had enough. Fifteen years or so ago all this would have been a minor
problem (I was still ill then, but I wasn't as crippled as I am
now...)

<hug>s to all,

Sarah
xxxxxxx

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