Re: OT Comfort food

Mandy <mandy2uk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

real-address-in-sig@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Rowland McDonnell) wrote in
news:1i61jp2.46sq9flw9rcfN%real-address-in-sig@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:

Mandy <mandy2uk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

real-address-in-sig@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Rowland McDonnell) wrote:

Mandy <mandy2uk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

real-address-in-sig@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Rowland McDonnell) wrote:

Mandy <mandy2uk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
[snip]

and I'm going to learn how to cook healthily
when we've tidied up the kitchen and reduce our take aways to once
or twice a week instead of every other day but I'm still
overweight!

Don't worry too much about what the books say about ideal weight.
And if you look ot the calorie content of quite a lot of takeaway
meals (and my wife has done; not just the figures, but what it does
to her figure) - well, a typical takeaway once a week is too much
if you want a calorie controlled weight loss diet to do its job.
Really. Cut 'em out. Do more exercise. More fruit and veg.

I'll be happy when I go from what I am now (size 18 and 10 stone) to
my healthy weight (size 10 and 8 stone). When I'm steadier on my
feet I'll start walking into town a couple of times a week as
exercise then eventually (when my legs are stronger) I'll walk in and
out every day by which time I'll be well enough to go back to work!
Yay!

Good luck. If I'm lucky, I might get well enough to be able to open
the fridge door without losing my mind to panic and despair. I don't
have any expectation that I'll ever leann how to walk out of the front
door reliably without losing my mind to suicidal depsair, confusion,
and panic. But that's life for you.


I thought you had a Uni job or something? You have to leave the house to
go to that :o)

My other half has the uni job. I rot at home, too terrified to open the
door, most of the time.

(I can ride my bike, mind - walking down the street, scary; riding a
motorcycle at 90mph, not scary. But my bike's off the road at the
moment - I need to put a part back on and I've been unable to do so
for several weeks, mostly due to a certain person fucking with my head
and making sure that I can't.)


Can you let this person know how they are making you feel?

There does not seem to be any way to get the message across.


[snip]

I don't know what the issues are - for myself, it seems to me that
it's all about mental outlook. That's all I have to get straight -
I dunno, seems to me that lots of people lack sense and will power
when it comes to food.


I just want to be healthy and well enough to work with children
again. Hopefully as I loose weight my health will improve so I'll be
more steady on my feet which will mean I'm well enough to work with
the kiddies again
:o)

Good luck. I just want the pain to end. I have no ambition at all.
Just oblivion will do me.


Maybe try giving yourself a small ambition to work towards then reward
yourself when you've done it?

Why?

For example my small ambition is to be
able to walk upstairs without being on all 4's and when I can do that I'm
going to indulge in a lot of chocolate! For you, maybe you could make
your small ambition being able to open the fridge door and then closing
it?

What on Earth for?

One thing I've noticed, though: that (dead) Dr Atkins bloke had a
point. Upping the meat and fruit and veg content of your diet and
reducing the carbohydrate content is actually a very good idea
based on how I've found things when I've tried it. Not that I'd
suggest anyone follows the Atkins diet, but I've come across so
many different sources suggesting reducing carbohydrate intake for
so many different reasons that I thought I'd try it out and you
know what? Bloody good idea.

Although I'm vegetarian, Steve isn't so he'll be eating meat at work
and veggie stuff when he gets home and I'll try introducing him to
tofu and things like that to see if he likes it :o)

Umm. Tofu isn't such a good thing to be eating. A lot of the veggie
standbys aren't such a good idea. Don't feed him soya stuff, not if
you like your blokes to be blokey. Too many female hormones in soya.
Yes, really.

Oh right! I guess I'll have to get used to handling meat then! :o\

Do some research on the Web about the problems of soya-based foods as
prepared for Western consumption. You'd be quite surprised, I expect.

What I want to be able to do is get some exercise and put on
some weight, but I can't do that.

Have you tried doing the opposite to dieters and eating chips,
crisps and chocolate every day and eating a little bit more when
you're full so that your stomach expands to hold all the extra
food?

No use at all: I want to get more muscle, not more fat. I'm a
bloke - it doesn't take a lot of exercise for me to put on quite a
lot of muscle bulk. Thing is, I can't get out most days and I
certainly can't maintain an exercise schedule of any sort at all.
Some days I don't even go downstairs - hardly even get out of bed
at times. I've lost an *awful* lot of muscle due to lack of
exercise, and it's bad for my body.


How about you and your wife go for a walk each evening?

I can't do that.

How about doing sit-ups or something?

I cannot undertake anything regular at all. I just can't do it.

It only needs to
be a short walk initially until you are both used to it then you can
slowly up your exersize as you go and take it from there?

I have no physical problem with the exercise. It's not a matter of
building up the physical side of things at all. I need mental
strength to do that which I do not have.

Could your wife help to encourage you?

<puzzled> I don't see what that's got to do with anything. I need
mental strength which I do not have. Encouragement cannot make any
difference.

I can't go for a walk with my wife without - well, it's horrible what
usually happens to me. Instant suicidal despair and panic and - oh,
I'm not going to do that to myself. It's humiliating being out in
public in that state.


How about doing something at home... sit ups, push ups and walking up and
down stairs sort of thing?

Doesn't help to do it once, and that's about all I can manage.

I've been known to collapse in tears at the side of the road. I do
not like that sort of thing.


Understandably!

I have no trouble eating - whatever's on the plate goes down my
throat, often in quantities that astonish my wife especially when
she sees the appetite I have for the dessert.

That's like me and Steve now and why we both need to loose weight!

(loose = flying around free; lose = can't find it any more)

That's one of the words I'm never sure how to spell!

Once upon a time, I used to be paid to write. I kept a dictionary on my
desk and used it frequently. I also ran the spelling checker without
fail before submitting anything for publication (if one can do that when
one is editor himself); unlike one of my editors (the arts graduate...)
who refused to because it was too slow and was for ever publishing
really embarrassing mistakes as a result.

It might just be that
you're eating too few calories or whatever which is why you can't
put weight on?

Nope: the problem is that I can't get out and do the exercise. I
can do any amount of eating at the drop of a hat, but there's no
point in doing that unless you're exercising as well.

Is there any exersize you enjoy?

I enjoy nothing. I don't think you've got the hang of the sort of
state I'm in.

How about exercising (or however it's spelt) at home?

<puzzled> I'm not sure what you're getting at.

Have you got a gym/leisure centre near
you?

Irrelevant. I loathe such places, and I can't get to them in any case
and even if I could, I couldn't do anything. I don't have the mental
strength to do so.

Ah right! :o(

Have you got a Harvester near you? If you have, going there
a couple of times a week and clearing your plate might help you to
put on weight too :o)

Foul muck. I like good food. Organic if possible. I've never had
a meal in one of those chain restaurants that I've considered
better than `just about edible'.


Oh right! We went to the Harvester for lunch today as yesterday was
Steve's birthday and we both really enjoyed it! Could you maybe
study cooking as an evening course and learn how to cook food that
you enjoy?

No, because I cannot study. I'm too fucked in the head to do anything
like that. I can't get out of the house on to any schedule, I can't
attend classes, I can't cope with normal social situations at all.

You don't have to go out to study...

I'd need to study, which I can't do. And I'd need personal access to a
tutor.

I'm studying at home and have been
for a few years! Maybe try the Open University?
http://openuniversity.ac.uk/

Erm, no, they stopped being accessible some years ago. I don't have the
equipment needed to study with the OU. And in any case, I can't
undertake any sustained course of action or anything that needs me to do
something by a time, or be somewhere at a time, or - well, anything
much.

I don't think you've got the hang of quite how ill I am.

I did try attending a tai chi class some years back, but after two
lessons gave up. Well, I'd learnt nothing and had attracted scornful
comments from the instructor and thought `I'm not paying £90 just so I
can be insulted and learn nothing'.

Oh right! Could you have given feedback after your last lesson?

<puzzled> Eh? Not the slightest point. All that happens if you do
that is that they explain how it is they're perfect (`I think that with
my N years' experience blah blah blah' - they don't listen, just defend
themselves) and you're wrong, I'd probably lose my mind to a humiliating
panic attack, and all would go pear-shaped. So no, I don't think I'd
consider doing anything like that on the grounds of personal dignity.

I used to cook rather a lot and I was not at all bad at it, but it's
been years since I've been able to look at the inside of the fridge
with the aim of making a meal without having trouble avoid running
away screaming.

Maybe you could start by opening the door then closing it again without
having to make a meal? Then move on to opening the door, getting the
milk out and closing it then move on to getting the milk out and putting
it back and take it from there?

Why would I want to do that? I really don't see what you're getting at.
Open the door and get the milk out. Why? So I'd feel suicidal at the
pointlessness of the activity and my utter lack of worth or any
remaining abilities? I don't see that as being useful.

I think you've mistaken my problems for the sort of problems that those
with two digit IQs suffer from. The medical people have made the same
mistakes and suggested the same sort of pointless things you are
suggesting.

I have no idea why anyone suggests any of this stuff - none of it can do
anything except make me worse, and I don't see how it could help anyone,
ever.

I generally don't like eating out - I'm almost always horribly
disappointed with the food[1], and I usually dislike the ambience.
I've only once had a meal out that was better than my mother's
cooking - Rule's restaurant in Covent Garden and Marconi was
paying, not me. Steak and kidney pudding with seasonal veg - and it
was *PERFECT*! I could find no fault at all and believe me I'm
very fussy about food.


That's a shame! Could you maybe do some research online into
restaurants in your area that could provide/cook the sort of food you
like?

Why?

So that you can start leaving the house?

<puzzled> Eh? Sorry, I can't see what you're thinking of at all. How
could any of that help me re-gain the mental abilities and strengths I
would need to do so? It wouldn't - pointless.

Consider:

I don't like eating out, I'm terrified of walking out of the house,
I'm terrified of groups of people, I don't know how to talk to people
any more, I've never known how to socialise, and the chances of me
being able to find a restaurant anywhere on Merseyside that's off the
quality I like is negligible. I assume that there aren't any to find.


Okey dokes! How about you and your wife going to some restaurants run by
famous chefs and see what you think?

That's easy: stupidly expensive, and a horrible night out.

I don't like eating out. Just drop it.

[snip]

Rowland.

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