Re: The Madwoman Project

Rosemary <mentally_subnormal@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Rowland McDonnell wrote:
Rosemary wrote:

<snip>

She
refused to take my point that some types of depression are different,
and that what she'd described wouldn't work for them.

Yeah, but come on, here's someone who's come across a process that
she's found helpful, right? And she's actually done something -
apparently not primarily for personal gain - to try to spread it about
a bit.

Surely her most serious `crime' is just a touch of overconfidence
coupled with a bit of ignorance? Experience can deal with both.

I'm tired of being nice. I've started to think that if people piss me
off, I should just tell them that they piss me off.

Well, yeah, but there are different ways of doing things.

What good reason is
there for me to be nice to someone like Madsanalynn?

Off the top of my head: because the end result of that line is turning
into the sort of social outcast I am and no-one wants that, do they?

There's another reason I can think of: see below.

Seems to me the sensible thing is to tell people that they're pissing
you off, but in a fashion designed to not piss them off. If I ever work
out how to do that myself, I'll let you know.

Okay, to get those `issues' dealt with, she ought to be listening to
what people say about her scheme; on the other hand, if one `speaks'
in an irritable and crabby fashion, one is less likely to be listened
to than otherwise. I should know: I've done far too much `irritable
and crabby' myself.

I don't really care if she takes on my point of view or not, but it's
possible she might think twice before going straight into a group and
preaching like that again, after the reception I gave her.

Well, yeah, but you know what? That `type' isn't all that bad, you
know? I try to modulate my responses - Madsanalynn is maybe just a bit
over-enthusiastic and misguided, and I reckon such people need to be
treated differently to the scum (who just need shooting).

One reason is that - look, Madsanalynn has created something, not with
personal gain in mind, that's intended to make the lives of others
better.

Isn't that a lovely thing for her to have done? I think so. Okay, so
she's not got everything right, she's overcome with her own enthusiasm,
and she's going about things in an annoying fashion. All that is true -
but still, we've got someone who's created something with wonderful
intentions.

I think people like that need to be encouraged to do more wonderful
stuff - they're the place that all the Good Stuff comes from, these folk
who aren't just content to label themselves `creative types', but
actually create stuff. If she can get the hang of `doing things better'
- well, she could very well end up being one of those people who makes
the world better in a small but significant way.

So: my line is `by all means tell such folk where they're going wrong,
but do so in a fashion that's meant to be nice not nasty'.

You'll probably have noticed that I take a slightly different attitude
towards other `types'; I expect you've seen that I'm quite happy to put
the boot in (insofar[1] as one can using writing), but I like to think I
pick my targets reliably.

Rowland.

[1] I make no apologies. I found myself saying `versimilitude' the
other day. And a few months back, I came out with `punctilious'. Argh.
My mind's going. I usually think far enough ahead in my sentence
planning to avoid words like those. I mean, who the hell ever says
`versimilitude' or `punctilious'? I didn't even know how to pronounce
`punctilious' (or so I thought - seeing as how I said the word when I
needed it, I think I must have).


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