Anticlimax
- From: "Maelstrom" <maelstrom21@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 1 Jul 2006 21:27:45 +0200
Went out last night to a leaving do for a lady thats been very good to me
both in and out of work. I don't normally go to these things as making small
talk is not something I'm good at. I enjoyed last night very much and had a
few minutes of fame being at the centre of attention for once. I was quite
touched with the good feeling and bonhomie of the people there towards each
other, and towards me. With depression its easy to forget that people can
actually care about you even when you don't.
It was a brilliant night with one small exception. A very pretty young woman
that last summer I made a huge mess of trying to tell her that I thought she
was a little bit special was there. And basically she couldn't even stand to
look at me. Not even after I said hello to her - she replied but couldn't
even look at me when she said it. And that kind of hurt because before I
messed up she would quite happily talk to me. Even go slightly out of her
way to talk to me.
And even though everything else about that night was great, that cut-up kind
of hurt lingered into today. I can deal with it, but still...
And the anticlimax started the moment I closed the door on my empty house
last night. I've spent the day chilling out and watching the footie,
grateful for a mate that popped in for 20 minutes. Feeling kind of 'lost' as
I often do when returning to a lonely home after a good time with people I
care about.
If you're looking for a point to this post, I don't really have one. Just
looking to get some of this off my chest. Sorry.
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