Re: My sexual experience(felt the need to talk about it after yesterday's nasty experience)


"caz" <cth@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
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"Tim" <emptiness@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
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bApart from Brenda i have only ever been to bed with one other person .A
woman i knew in hospital before i met
Brenda.It was a one off thing and was a total humiliating experience.I
was very shy and nervous and clueless about sex.She
was 8 years older and i learnt later bordering on nymphomaniac.
There was no foreplay or lets say a minute or so
before she opened her bedside cabinet and thrust a condom very
mechanically in my hand.Just before she closed the cabinet i caught
a glimpse of what must have been a couple of dozen condoms.
I got completely flustered and was unable to 'raise a hope' as they
say.
Then she turned her back on me ,shrugged her shoulders and went to
sleep.No compassion,no sympathy shown.

It took a year after meeting Brenda to successfully make love to her and
then it was erratic due to moods and also because i would
often get very apprehensive. Long barren periods being punctuated by
short periods of love making.

When Brenda had her stroke in 1990 it all stopped due to the stroke
affecting her inability to have sex and enjoy it.


I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone else let alone a young girl.
Brenda was very understanding about our erratic sex life although being
human was driven to distraction on occasions.I couldn't trust someone
else to be the same

Sex with someone else would be scary.I couldn't emotionally cope
with it.
I'm not sexless but i prefer deep and loyal romantic non sexual love and
could never replace what i had with Brenda.

Sex is discusting, degrading, and animal, but then thats why some of us
crave it, if only to renforce the filth we feel about ourselves

Caz

Not true.


.

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