Re: help - feeling psychotic SPOILER

Hiyer,

I'm new to this, so sorry if I say something wrong, but ... Are you sure you
can't you tell your CPN or shrink?

"kez" <kelseylewis@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:40c3abF18s9j5U1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>I just killed one of my voices. Another voice said I'd just taken a human
>life. Images of people somewhere suddenly dropping dead go through my head.
>
> I don't know how I killed this one, with some kind of death-prayer
> perhaps. I've been getting holy again, which could be good or could be
> bad. Last week I went out with my mate Jamie who thinks he's Jesus when he
> gets drunk and we were both blessing people. I'm nagging myself that it's
> bad but at the same time I feel brilliant to have some faith again and
> want to get out my bibles and prayer books and read them again.
>
> I told my voices last Friday "I'll shoot you full of god" and low and
> behold I had a gun and I got them with perfectly aimed head shots. One of
> my voices couldn't take it and when I spoke to her to admonish her for her
> evil she went completely insane and catatonic and she hasn't spoken since.
> I'm sure she can only now speak gobbledegook and babble inanely about
> rubbish while pacing around and banging her head on walls and stuff now.
> She's gone!
>
> Last night I prayed for a gun to shoot my voices and then shot them all -
> blessed peace and quiet! But my other voices, my friend voices were
> concerned and told me it was bad to kill people.
>
> I can't get out of this it is going on. I know they're only hallunination
> people but it's like they're real people and I'm fighting them because
> they are evil.
>
> Earlier tonight they were battering at me with questions while I did some
> soul-searching, and when I concluded it was vanity of mine, a voice said
> "vani-bleuurghhhhh" and they all started vomitting. It was real possesed
> by evil exorcist stuff, it was like the sickness and evil was spewing from
> them. I wondered what would happen to them and thought they would surely
> either perish, or would be like newborn children again once their
> uncontrollable vomitting caused by their own evil had run it's course
>
> Of course I know this stuff isn't proper and there's no way I could tell
> anyone any of this. I couldn't even start to tell my shrink or CPN about
> this. I just say "yeah I head some voices, but they went away and I'm OK
> now"
>
> My CPN has devised a voice scale for me, from 1 to 4. This is about 2 I
> guess. It's even improved since a few weeks ago when I was getting really
> involved with them. But killing them? Am I a psychopath now? And am I
> turning into a psychotic fanatic christian again? That is surely a one way
> ticket to the psych unit for another mental health detox!
>
> I'm worried!
>
> -- kez
>
>


.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: help - feeling psychotic SPOILER
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  • Re: help - feeling psychotic SPOILER
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