Re: My future is in tatters.... :(
- From: Whiskers <catwheezel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2005 12:52:24 +0100
On 2005-08-13, utopia2k5@xxxxxxxxxxxxx <utopia2k5@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Hi,
>
> Let me introduce myself, I am a 19 yr old student that is currently in
> his gap year. I have just finished doing a years A-level in
> mathematics. I am self taught.
snip
Hello :))
> In short it was a frustrating experience.
I remember that feeling all too well. I imagine that most of those who
took the same exams as you are feeling equally exhausted and frustrated.
> Now that my examinations are over, and the summer is in full swing I
> have hit an all time low. Even though my results have not yet come out
> I am convinced that I have failed the subject completely. Mainly
> because the latter part of the course was just too difficult to be
> slick at in such a short period of time. Mathematics unlike written
> subjects (which I am natrually good at) is difficult because you have
> to be very accurate, if you don't know the answer then you are stuffed.
> Whereas with english based subjects you could get a high grade by being
> opinionated and arguementative.
Don't assume that you have done less well than you hoped, wait for the
actual results!
You've been working very hard, and putting yourself under a great deal of
stress, for months on end. Now that phase is over, you are left powerless
to have any further influence on the outcome, and you are naturally feeling
anxious and helpless. That's a perfectly normal reaction.
> The psychological affects for contemplating failure has had its strain.
> I have found that I've become much more recluse to the point that going
> out and seeing my friends has become such a chore. I feel like such a
> loser in short, gutted at the fact that I might have thrown away my
> opportunity to goto a University of my choice. On top of that, I feel
> hard done for, primarily due to the fact that I have worked so hard,
> and was zealous about mathematics. Yet, ironically I am on the brink of
> failure.
You are also on the brink of success. Being on the brink is the tricky
part ... try not to let your fears and worries overwhelm you.
> I still am zealous about the subject, but I am just so upset
> with the way things are turning out that any desire to do it is just
> reminding me of my failure. What worries me even more, is that if I
> don't pass mathematics decently I could end up not getting into a
> computer orientated degree or may have to end up going to a relatively
> poor university to get onto one. Hence therefore, I would be spending
> 20k by the end of it on a degree that may not get me into the major
> companies that I would like to work for.
You have not failed; you have achieved a great deal, and nothing can take
that away from you, ever. Don't pin everything on just one exam result -
and certsinly try to remember that you do not know that result anyway, yet,
so speculating about it is pointless.
> As they would probably hire
> more qualified applicants with a better academic background if given
> the choice. I guess what frustrates me the most is that regardless of
> what my grade is at the end of it all, I was genuinely very competant
> at the subject, I had strong areas and I had weak areas in every
> module, my weak areas just needed time and more familiarity with
> mathematics in order to become slick, so given the time constraints,
> and the back and forthing between modules it was hard to strengthen
> them to the level the examiners want them.
Potential employers are likely to be a lot more impressed by passion and
interest than by mere academic prowess. There is no such thing as a
worthless qualification. Prestigious universities certainly have a glamour
that the newer or less famous ones lack, but they can only impart the same
knowledge as the others; the rest is up to the student.
> The physical affects that this has caused me are sleepless nights.
> Weight loss due to extreme anxiety and a loss of interest to do any
> exercise/or mental activity (which I used to do).
All fairly common reactions to the end of an intensely stressful experience
- such as studying hard for exams on which you have pinned a whole
life-plan.
> I have, if worse comes to worse thought of solutions to my predicament.
> One being clearing, the other is to study Politics and History at a
> college in a year and then re-applying next year to universities of my
> choice for a politics/history or philosiphy degree. As I have from a
> very early age been very interested in those areas of study, yet have
> never presued those areas of study due to my life long dream in going
> into Software Engineering. I am, however very afraid of doing this,
> because I am scared of failure. Any confidence in my ability has been
> destroyed this year.
>
> I am confused and wish that I can get my life back on track, but I feel
> as though I am going down a downhill spiral.
That's probably what most A-level victims are feeling at the moment.
> Thanks for reading and your thoughts will be much appreciated.
It's interesting that you mention an interest in subjects that seem to have
little in common with those you've been concentrating on for the last year
or so. That should tell you that your prospects are in fact very good
indeed: you are flexible and competent in a wide range of subjects and
skills. That is far more useful in real life than being brilliant at the
academic aspects of any one thing. Whatever path your career takes, these
abilities and interests will stand you in good stead.
Try to remember that no matter what the results of this particular exam may
be, this is not a now-or-never thing, and that almost no-one ends up doing
precisely what they had planned to do when they were young. None of us is
in control of our own destiny, all we can do is tweak some of the details
as we go along.
You are clearly intelligent, articulate, and hard-working. That matters
far more than the results of any one exam. I know that's easy for me to
say; I'm 54 and flunked my A-levels long before you were born, but my
career worked out pretty well even though I ended up in a field I hadn't
even thought of when I was at school. (And I found I had talents for doing
things with personal computers - which didn't exist when I was in school; I
didn't get my hands on a computer of any sort until I was past 30, and my
official 'job description' never mentioned computers).
One of these days I'll get the better of this illness and have another
career. I don't know what that might be; one of the things I've learned is
to leave plans vague.
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
-- ~~~~~~~~~~
.
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- My future is in tatters.... :(
- From: utopia2k5
- My future is in tatters.... :(
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