Re: For Sale - Direct Intracoastal Waterfront Luxury Townhome in Indian Shores, FL
- From: Marcus Houlden <spam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 27 Nov 2005 18:38:08 GMT
On 27 Nov 2005 06:32:34 -0800, cavalierb2 <akemmett@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote the following to uk.misc:
Always fun to play with estate agent's jargon. So, we have:
> Rare Vista Cove Direct Intracoastal Waterfront Luxury Townhome
Terraced house next to a sewer outfall
> with private beach access in Indian Shores, FL -
Tiny patch of dog shit and litter at the bottom of a grotty staircase.
> 3 Story, 3 Bedrooms, 3 Bathrooms and 3 Car Garage.
Once upon a time someone had to buy 3 sets of bed linen and clean 3 toilets
> Watch the dolphins play while you enjoy fun
> in the sun year round!
Tuna fishermen will be sailing up and down while you try and sunbathe on the
balcony. Don't even *think* of topless sunbathing
> Meticulously kept, with an upgraded kitchen including 1-1/4" granite
> countertops with full length granite splashboard and stainless steel
> appliance package,
The kitchen contains a couple of paving slabs for worktops and a shiny new
camping stove to cook on.
> brand new paint throughout including the garage,
....to cover up the dry rot and subsidence
> newer A/C, 3 spotless tiled bathrooms,
....hope you like going round with a pot of grout and a toothbrush to make
sure they stay that way
> 2 waterfront balconies with
> lower staircase to tiled patio, dock and deep water boat slip
A couple of wobbly shelves outside 2 of the windows, with a ladder down to a
bit of pavement and a water trap for shopping trollies.
> also with
> a ground level bonus room!
....that gets flooded at high tide.
> Best of both worlds with breathtaking
> intra-coastal waterviews and incredible views of the Gulf of Mexico.
Cuban refugees at no extra cost.
> Added bonus of a deeded, private, wide-open beach access for Vista Cove
> owners only and their guests.
Bill Deedes is asleep on a bit of sand surrounded by fences otherwise
populated by very miserable rich people.
> Excellent for primary and second home
> buyers, or investment.
So good that you'll want to go back to your normal home most of the year.
> For more information call xxx-xxx-xxxx
Um, I think I'll pass
>From address is a blackhole. Reply-to address is valid.
"People are animals too."
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