Th' Hoil-i'th'-Hill Statty - Chapter I.
- From: Tez Clayton-Swift <scum@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:43:45 +0100
Th' Hoil-i'th'-Hill Fowld wor a quiet little place; ther wor sixteen
haases altogether, four on each side ov a big square yard, an' a pump
i'th' middle. Th' fowk 'at lived thear had mooast on 'em been born
thear, an' ther'd been soa monny weddin's amang 'em wol they wor all
summat moor or less akin. Niver i'th' memory o'th' oldest on 'em had
ther been ony change i'th' fowld, except nah an' then a bit o' fresh
paint wor put on th' doors an' winders, until one day th' landlord coom
and browt two or three smart lukkin chaps' at begun to messure hear an'
thear, an' all th' wimmen an' th' childer watched' em wi' as mich
anxiety as if they wor gooin to pool all th' haases daan.
Th' chaps wor all off at ther wark, but when they coom hooam at neet
they wor sooin made acquainted wi' all 'at had gooan on, an' when they'd
getten ther drinkins, one after another walked aght, wol they wor all
met together raand th' pump.
'What does ta mak on it, Jacob?' sed one o'th' younger end, spaikin to
an owd man wi' a grey heead. 'What does ta think they meean to do?'
'Nay aw connot tell, unless it's some o' them wrang-heeaded fowk 'at th'
maister wor tawkin abaat, 'at want to start a schooil booard or some
new-fangled noation.'
'Why, what mak o' schooils is them schooil board consarns?'
'Aw dooant know, nobbut it's a schooil whear yo send childer to leearn
ther letters, an' they booard 'em at same time.'
'Why, that's nooan a bad thing if they give 'em owt daycent to ait.'
'Does ta think they'll have owt at we shalln't have to pay for? Did ta
iver know th' Corporation give owt for nowt? All aw wish is 'at they'd
let us alooan. We've getten on here for aboon fifty year withaat ony o'
ther bother, an' aw could like to finish my bit o' time aght as we are.'
They all agreed wi' this, an th' wimmen 'at had gethered raand to harken
sed they thowt soa too, an' it ud seem 'em better if they'd luk after
ther own wives an' childer a bit moor, and net come botherin thear.
When th' bacca wor done, they went back into ther haases, one bi one,
an' went to bed, but ther wor a sooart ov a claad hung ovver 'em all,
and they didn't sleep varry weel.
Next mornin, as they started off for th' day, they each gave a luk
raand, as if to fix iverything i' ther mind, for fear when they coom
back they'd niver be able to own th' spot.
Sooin after they'd gooan, a lot o' navvies coom an' started o' diggin.
Wor'nt th' wimmin aght in a crack! 'What are yo baan to do?' they sed.
'We're gooin to put yo all watter in,' sed th' gaffer, 'soas yo can do
withaat this pump.'
'We dooant want ony watter puttin in; when we want watter we can fotch
it,--goa abaat yor business!'
But he tell'd 'em they'd getten orders to do it, an th' landlord had
agreed, soa they went on wi ther wark.
Nah, th' chap 'at had takken this job to do, hadn't takken it bi th'
day; he'd agreed to do it for soa mich, soa yo may bet he kept' em all
at it, an' it tuk varry little time to dig an' get th' pipes laid; an'
then th' plumbers wor waitin to start, an' iverybody wor as thrang as if
ther lives depended on it bein finished that day,--an' it wor
finished,--an' as sooin as it wor done they set to wark an' pool'd daan
th' owd pump, an' laid some flags ovver th' well, an' went hooam.
Th' wimmin didn't know whether to be pleased wi' th' new taps or mad
abaat th' loss o'th' pump, an' soa they sed nowt until ther fellies coom
back. It worn't monny minits afoor they began to coom hooam, an' as
sooin as they saw th' pump ligged o'th' graand an' th' well covered up,
they luk'd like--weel, it's noa use me tryin to tell what they luk'd
like, for they luk'd so monny different ways 'at aw should be fast amang
it; but ther worn't one on 'em suited, an' net one 'em had patience to
luk at th' new taps.
Owd Jacob spit his teah aght ov his maath as sooin as he tasted it. 'Aw
knew ha it ud be,' he sed, 'if iver we lost that pump.'
'Why, what's th' matter?' sed his dowter.
'Matter! connot ta taste th' difference between that watter an' th'
watter tha used to get aght o'th' pump?'
'Why, father,' shoo sed, 'that is pump watter, for aw pump'd it mysen
befoor they pool'd it daan.'
'Oh, did ta. It wor happen a bit o' bacca aw had i' mi maath. But allus
bear this i' mind, if iver tha gets wed an' should leave this fowld
niver go to live whear ther isn't a pump.'
After th' drinkin all th' chaps could be seen standin i'th' door hoils,
leeanin agean th' jawm, for they felt lost, an' didn't know whear to
goa. They'd allus been i'th' habit o' getherin raand th' owd pump, an'
it seemed nah as if they couldn't tell whear to stand for th' pump had
acted as cheerman for' em when they had ther argyfyin meetins,--an' a
varry gooid cheerman too.
At last one on 'em screwed up courage to goa an' luk at th' owd pump
case as it ligged i'th' muk, an' then one an' another joined him, wol it
luk'd for all th' world as if they wor holdin an inquest.
'That's been a gooid friend to us all,' sed Jacob, 'an' aw dooant like
to see it liggin thear.'
'Noa, moor do aw,' sed another, 'an' it luks a sooart o' desolate, sin
they tuk th' guts aght.'
'Aw wish somdy'd tak their guts aght,' sed Levi, 'it ud sarve 'em
reight. But what mun we do wi' it! Th' fowld luks lost withaat it.
Suppooas we put it up agean just to luk at?'
'Aw propooas we bury it,' sed Jacob, 'an' then raise a monement ovver
it. It desarves one better nor lots 'at get 'em. It wor allus sober, an'
minded its own business, an' niver refused to give owt it had if yo
shook it bi th' hand.'
'Well, but whear mun we bury it?' sed Jonas.
'Aw think,' sed Jacob, ''at as it's had a wattery life, it owt to have a
wattery grave. Let's pool them flags up an' drop it into th' well.'
They all agreed to this, soa it worn't monny minits befoor they had th'
well oppened, an' wor ready to drop it in, but one o'th' women happened
to ax 'who wor gooin to read ovver it.' Nah this had n ver struck nooan
on' em befoor, an' they saw at once 'at it should be attended to.
'Whear's Elkanah?' sed Jacob. 'He's allus ready wi' a speech, let's see
what he can find to say.' Soa one on 'em whistled, an' Elkanah coom, an'
they tell'd him what they wanted.
'All reight,' he sed, 'but if yor baan to bury it like that aw think
ther owt to be a burryin drinkin.'
'That's reight, Kana!' shaated th' wimmin, 'let's have it reight if we
have it at all.'
'That's my noation,' sed Elkanah, 'an aw'll see what aw con collect
befoor we bury it,--aw'll be a shillin.'
'Soa will aw,' 'soa will aw,' 'aw'll be another,' an ther wor sooin
thirteen shillin an' sixpence sam'd up. 'Nah, awm ready,' he sed, 'tak
off yor hats, an' handle it gently for its rayther rotten.' They all did
as they wor tell'd, an' havin getten ready Elkanah spake,--
'Into this well soa deep,
We put thee daan to sleep,
Farewell owd pump.
Tho' some may thee despise,
We know tha'rt sure to rise
Up wi' a jump.
'Tha's sarved thi purpose weel,
An' all thi neighbors feel
Sad at thi fate.
But as tha's had thi day,
This is all we've to say,
Ger aght o'th' gate.'
After this one on 'em struck up a temperance hymn, an' bi th' time
they'd getten through an' th' owd pump wor sent to its restin place two
o'th' wimmen wor ready wi' a gallon o' rum an' ale mixed, an' they
totted it aght i' pint pots. This didn't go far amang th' lot, soa they
fotched another an another wol ther brass wor done, an' then separated
wi' heavy hearts an' rayther leet heeads an' went to bed, feelin glad to
know 'at they'd done all they could towards payin a fittin tribute to an
owd friend.
.
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