Re: Who'd be a postman?

"Don't think twice" <Don't think twice @it'> wrote in message news:YaKdnZ-SKIs1v_fXnZ2dnUVZ8rednZ2d@xxxxxxxxx
Having reached a certain age a letter arrived telling me that in this preventative new world we inhabit I was eligible for a bowel cancer testing kit. Reading through the literature it seemed like a good idea, no invasive testing, just drop something soft somewhere and bobs your uncle, you have it or you don't. I was informed that a testing kit would soon arrive. I had visions of a small glass bottle and a plastic ice cream spoon of the type you get in the theatre, 3 quid for a couple of ccs of chocolate organic ice cream which in normal circumstances you would go ape shit at the price but because you are having a night out and it is yob free, it's the theatre remember, you gladly pay. Drop my stuff and deliver it to my local GP, whoever he or she is, for "processing".

But no, it wasn't to be. The kit arrived, it is a piece of cardboard with 9 flaps, each can be sealed after a mornings smearing. Then, I have to put it into a pre-paid envelope and POST it to the University of Surrey.

Now imagine this, the condition of some of those envelopes from people my age whose faculties are half shot to pieces, can't see, can't smell and certainly can't smear 3 pieces of crap on three consecutive mornings onto a flap less than a centimetre square and then seal it hygienically into a prepaid envelope! A postman's lot is not a pleasant one these days.

You think that's bad?

You ought to see what they have to deal with handling four weeks worth of samples following a vasectomy.

Nigel Brooks