Re: Pupils to pay for illegal parking

Norman Wells wrote:


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Norman Wells wrote:
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Norman Wells wrote:
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Norman Wells wrote:
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Norman Wells wrote:

I'm puzzled by your statement that I was 'wound up' about it, when
I've been at pains to point out that I wasn't prepared to let it
bother me.

Then why use such intemperate and unmoderated language? It's
usually a very direct indicator of someone under stress. You are
clearly capable of using English properly, but you didn't. Why
not?

Ummm, look around you. This is uk.legal. Are you familiar with the
expression "when in Rome..."? Its completely irrelevant what
language I use here to relate the situation.

But it's not irrelevant what language you said you used to your son.
Using terms like 'power-crazed halfwit' and 'twat' in connection with
a teacher is designed to undermine the teacher's authority in your
child's eyes. And that's utterly reprehensible.

Not reprehensible at all, and entirely necessary. I told him not to do
the detention and I obviously have to rationalise that statement. I
chose to do that by being honest and pointing out that I found the
school position to be one that I would not support, and that the heads
insistence on it was crass and boorish. But since crass and boorish
were a bit outside of his experience, I used a reference set he could
get his head round.

I do work with them, on a regular basis. I often need to work with
the special needs staff of local schools and attend regular
meetings due to the level of young people we look after. You are
projecting an incident in which I refused to buckle to the schools
will into a demeanour where I will not co-operate with schools
full >>> stop.

Isn't that understandable given the way in which you chose to
express yourself?

Well, honestly? No, I dont think it is. Many people have problems
expressing themselves adequately for a wide variety of reasons, only
one of which is a poor command of English and/or a limited
vocabulary. Why would you, as a supposedly reasonable person,
imagine it appropriate to make pretty wild assumptions about
someones values based purely on a single incident, no matter how
colourfully told?

Because, since then, in your 'paraphrase' of what you said, you made
it clear that you in fact have a very good command of the English
language, and can choose the language you use to express exactly what
you mean. If you use intemperate language therefore, it's reasonable
to assume that you are feeling pretty intemperate.

Actually I'm far more irritated by my seeming inability to convey my
emotions of the time to you now than I was then. Perhaps you're
confusing my irritation at your groundless accusations with any
annoyance I had at the time?


If he's filled with the contempt you instill in him he won't
learn. If he's filled with the same anger, he won't
concentrate. >>> > If he's filled with the same rejection of
authority, he won't >>> > behave. And if he won't do any of those
things, he's going to be >>> > a liability to society and himself.

Why should he have my contempt? I smoke (well until quite
recently I >>> did) but I dont permit him to. I drive a car, but he
isn't allowed >>> to. Just because I treat his headmaster with
contempt does not >>> permit him to. He is, however, permitted to
extract himself from a >>> situation of confrontation with his head,
as evidenced by "ignore >>> the twat and walk".

As well as presumably regarding him as a 'power-crazed halfwit' as
you called him.

If that's not encouraging him to treat the head with contempt I
don't know what is.

Sorry, but that isn't the same thing.

Sorry, but actually it is.

We'll have to disagree on that. I think respect is an earned rather
than learned value. The head demonstrated to my son that he was
unworthy of it at that time

Oh, and how did he do that exactly? By giving your son a detention
for a misdemeanour even you admit he committed?

He was unworthy because, in spite of representations from myself on why
I found the penalty innapropriate, he maintained an untenable position,
seemingly only because he felt unable to climb down from it. You cant
get things right without risking gettimg them wrong. But when you got
one wrong, 'fess up.

and while my son should reserve the right
to change his mind over time, at least at that moment he was rightly
entitled to treat the head with a degree of scepticism.

He should nevertheless respect the authority that the head has, and
you should not be undermining it.

He did. Respect the heads authority, I mean. The fact that he was a
twat about detentions didn't mean that he had no knowledge worthy of
imparting. I thought my own teachers were twats, but I still learned
from them.

So you say, now. But it sounds like one of your marvellous
paraphrases to me.

For the love of God, WHY?!? What part of my description left room
for you to make false assumptions? I thought I'd been reasonably
descriptive of a very, very simple scenario. I'll paraphrase it
again, and this time if you think that paraphrasing is somehow
unrepresentative then please be so kind as to point out exactly
where and what comment of mine leads you to believe it so, okay?
Infraction occurred. Penalty questioned by parent. Penalty rejected
by parent. Continued rejection of penalty through subsequent phone
conversations. School withdrew penalty.

Very reasonable. Very level-headed. Very respectful. Very
constructive. Adult even.

A pity you had to spoil it all by calling the head a 'power-crazed
halfwit' and a 'twat' to your son. A responsible adult wouldn't have
done that.

Again, we'll have to differ. I consider it to be the very thing that a
responsible parent *would* do.
--

.

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