Re: UK - FATHER CANCELS CONTACT REGULARLY AT SHORT NOTICE

Okay Martin - we were separated before she was born, he claimed not to
be the father, out of the blue when she was six months old he contacted
me via a solicitor wanting to have contact and pay maintenance. I
agreed to two hours Sundays 2-4. First Sunday arrived late, left
cheque for one week. Returned two weeks later.

This went on for several weeks. Then the football season started. He
wanted to come later, so like a fool I agreed. Sometimes he paid
sometimes he didn't. No explanation or apology. Football season ends,
wants to come earlier, like a fool I agreed and that was the worst
mistake I made. Then he just started turning up when he felt like it
anytime between 10 and 3. One week he gave me a cheque and cancelled
it at the bank the following day saying it was stolen. Yes I flipped.
I stopped contact .

A court order was agreed later. Still he cant keep the contact within
the agreed times. He knows me too well. He knows my children are
everything to me and I wont do anything to upset them and hes using
this to great effect. Because he was physically violent to me he
agreed not to be present and the child is taken to his mothers and
collected from there.

I dont even have an emergency phone number for him. If god forbid, an
accident were to occur with her whilst in his care he wouldn't be able
to give accurate information of her disabilities and what medication
she's on, or even if shes allergic to anything. Matters like that
don't even enter his head. He has never ever asked anything bout his
child.

Having not had any money for maintenance for so long its hardly an
issue. And as you well know maintenance and contact are two entirely
separate issues and are not considered together in any way shape or
form. He'll get his comeuppence at the hands of the CSA eventually.

And quite how trying to get him to meet his own demands for contact is
me causing him distress at every turn is quite twisted.

I have never applied for custody and he's never asked for it just a few
hours to slot into his life on his own terms. It is not my intention
to belittle him but to find some way forward to get him to do right by
his child. Ive had ten of the best years of my life, and dont shed any
tears over our marriage ending - its what we both wanted - we both
wanted children - I accepted my daughter from the day she was born as
did all of my family and friends - he didn't - didnt want her.

Mental instability and playing the system dont really sit together do
they?

.

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