Pressing Start + Back together on wireless pad
- From: Skijumptoes <SjT@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2006 17:57:25 +0000
Anyone know what its supposed to do?! (On the 360 wireless pad)
I play this game at home when the missus is watching TV in how long i
dare hold the guide button down before the 360 comes on and cuts out
eastenders or big brother... or whatever shit she is watching.
(Yeah i know.. it's an addiction.. Dunno if its fueled by the
annoyance i can bring to her.. Or just wanting to play on it!)
Anyway, yesterday i was pressing this as normal and put the 360 on
twice in a row... She got mad at me so i decided to stroke the normal
buttons during her tv 'allowance'...
One button led to another, and before i knew it i was dialling in
combo moves and all kinds and then fate struck!! I pressed Start and
back together (when the pad & console were turned off).
the guide light lit up!!... It didn't do anything but flash at
differing speeds at me though... but it lit up.. And i found out that
the only way to stop it was by pressing the button on the battery
pack.
Was very odd, but what was odder followed:-
Later that night my controller wasnt working and i had to
re-familiarise it with the console, at first i thought it had simply
ran out of batteries... But no, it appeared to be more sinister than
that...
I had caught them arguing the night before, the controller and console
that is.. I hadn't said anything as everyone knows electrical
equipment tends to bicker when left alone.. But it appeared that they
were not speaking at all this time.
But being new and all i bravely decided that we should all go out for
a nice drink to get them talking again.... I kinda felt a gooseberry,
but after around 10 the drinks had been flowing and they were talking
again, in fact they were all over each other.. People were staring at
me... I felt like the one in the wrong, but i know theres no wrong in
sitting in a bar with a games console and a controller... Actually now
that i think about it the controller was being a right cunt.. He sat
on the bar stool throwing peanuts around the counter.. It was quite
embarassing.
In the end we were asked to move after several complaints.. Aimed at
myself i may add!!!!
Enough was enough, I decided it was time to go, we drank up, and out
we went to the car.
The journey home was quite uneventful, well, i say uneventful.. The
controller had suddenly decided he felt sick so we had to pull over
about 2 miles from home.. It was a busy road, just south from my home
town... Down where all those microwaves with the holes drilled out of
the back had been left in the ditch...
The rain was pouring... i felt hot... that was partly why i felt the
need to park up in a nearby field... I can only think of one way to
cool down and that was by getting away from it all, away from where
i'm told what i can and can't do, away from people who laugh and stare
because i don't drink lager-beer like everyone else in the
pub!!!!!!!!! AWAY FROM STRANGERS WITH STRANGER IDEAS!
The controller was puking up just behind the near side rear wheel when
it happened... it looked good in the light, with the reflections of
rain drops dribbling down its smooth white facia...
"You're too good for him" I thought.... "Look at him.. throwing up...
He's no man to you".
There was no reply, but after how we were treated in the pub i kinda
didn't expect any kind of acknowledgement... I had embarassed them, at
least thats what they were thinking im sure.
I left my seat and reached into the back, the 360 lay there... looking
stunning in the light... The rain still beating down onto the metalic
roof.
I started to stroke the cable inputs at the rear.. Slowly dipping my
finger into the opening of the USB ports, running it around the outter
edge like a fly balancing on the tip of a wine glass... We were both
enjoying it... Maybe me more so... Lifeless it lay on my seat.. I
liked the silence that was overshadowed by the rain hitting the
windows on the car.
Spreading their arms and collapsing as they pattered the window..
sliding... slithering... with moonlight projecting their every
slither, every slide and every drop of rain onto the interior and
beyond... I felt like never before... I felt good... I was in control,
and no-one was around to tell me otherwise, no-one was around to tell
me i was wrong, and no-one could trade my equipment in before i had
full use out of it!
And that's when it happened, reminiscent of my 5.1's optical port..
The day the flap finally gave up and allowed my tongue to caress it's
inner light.... I took my pocket blade out.. .It was dark, and i was
hungry... I began to disassemble the 360's casing.. It lay there
wanting me to peel it's plastic outter shell off, it's back arching
like an antique doorway... it wanted me to snap the fixings with my
hand, forcibly, it wanted to be cracked like a walnut.. It wanted me
to clamber inside, blindfolded, touching... feeling... being part of
how it feels, holding my head upon the breast of the motherboard as i
stroke its warm chips.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
"HEY! What you doing in there, arent you supposed to be driving?!"...
that voice!! I jump backwards from my position.. "I was just er..
checking something..." I reply.. The controller is looking at me..
..suspiciously, i grasp for an excuse as to why i am sat in the back of
the car.. My face is warm... I feel ashamed, and i look it.... My
trousers stained, obviously from something in the pub... yoghurt
maybe.. "I HAD A YOGHURT THEN"... I panic.. "YOU LIKE YOGHURTS??"..
"WHAT FLAVOUR DO YOU LIKE?! I HATE IT WHEN THEY DROP LIKE THAT.. IN
PUBS I HATE IT.. DO YOU HATE IT TOO!?!?"... I look the controller
square in the port... There is no getting out of this, i knew that.. I
knew from the moment we pulled up there was no turning back.... I
looked at my watch a final time... the second hand grinding to a
halt... tick.......tick................. tick.......................
Time stood still... It stood still As i took my controller and angered
my force at it... Time stood still as i grabbed his little head and
buckled it on the roadside drain... Time stood still as my plastic
stained shirt was carelessly ripped from my torso and used as a muffle
to drown out his sorrows...Time stood still as i watched his lifeless
case hit the floor... Time stood still as i stood staring into my rear
window... Time stood still as i entered the back door angered at
myself, angered of this world and someone was going to pay!!!!
.......Time stood still.
So, anyone else experienced this?! and know what its all about?! Is it
a subsitute for that ID button maybe?! And is the button on the
battery pack purely a release mechanism... Or something more
sinister?!
I'm stumped as there's nothing in the instruction manual that i read
(for the console that is). Bizarre as hell really.
.
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