Re: Don't take a man shopping...

Ellie" <ellie@xxxxxx> wrote in message
news:54gsk5F212f1oU1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Mrs Murray ,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you
and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified
by
our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15th: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2nd: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7th: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.

4. July 19th: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, "Code 3" in housewares... and watched what happened.

5. August 14th: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15th: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department
and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23rd: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help
him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me
alone?"

8. October 4th: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10th: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.

10. December 3rd: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6th: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18th: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13. December 21st: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23rd: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager


--
Ellie

And your point is....? Isn't this 'normal' shopping-avoiding behaviour from
a husband?
;o)


Nick




.