Re: Sad news regarding John James (crossposted)

Laurie S. <laurienews@xxxxxxxxx> wrote, in talk.rape:

[...]
Thanks Baba. Did you read the other post, the one I made to t.r. only?
It says more than this one, although I don't think it's essential.
Mostly just some rambling.

I did. 'Twas meaningful rambling.

Also thanks for passing the news on. JJ was a rara avis, and if he
had sense not to show his whole self to the Usenet world, I'm glad to
have known what he did show.

Me too. He used to say that JJ was like an alter ego. He was different
in person, but I have to say that I liked both sides a lot. I like

I'd have been very surprised if the offline John had *not* been deeply
likeable. His online self was too true to the important things for it
to be otherwise. I'm sorry I didn't know more of his softer side than
glimpses, though. Just more of him, really.

that about people, whether it's someone you know online and off, or at
work and away from work, or some other setting where you get to
experience different layers of someone. In each, you get to know a
different piece.

Yes. 8-)

JJ and his friend, also named John, visited me in July 2005 just for
an overnight. I drove them around town a bit, we walked around the
lakeshore, and then we took a cab downtown because we intended to
drink.

I took them to an Irish pub, which seems now like a silly thing to do,
but it's what people seem to want to do: Take the foreign person to
something familiar when they actually may want to see something
*foreign*. Anyway, they commented that the reason American "Irish
pubs" always seem a little off is that a real Irish pub doesn't try to
be an Irish pub; it just is one. Can't argue with that!

Makes sense.

Anyway, Irish *is foreign (even if fake foreign).

We ate some colcannon and drank some beer. I had Boddington's and I
think they had Guiness. Then I think we went to the other Irish pub
across the street (don't ask why a city of 12,000 in Minnesota has two
Irish pubs) and then walked to another bar where we met rowdy people
to party with. We walked about a mile home, over JJ's objections, and
some strange young man named Steve walked with us and wouldn't go
away. John2 was trying to nicely get him to go away, JJ was poking at
him (as he might a troll here) and I was trying to play peacemaker.

<<chuckle>> How very characteristic.

Eventually, the guy went away about a block from where we had to turn
to go to my apartment.

JJ and I stayed up until 5 or 6 a.m., talking vaguely about life and
not remembering most of it later. It was a really nice visit and I
wish it had been longer, and with a sober night to balance the
drinking one. ;)

It was JJ's second visit to see me, and I always hoped to pay him a
visit as well, but it was one of those things it seems there should be
time for later, when I could afford such a trip. It makes me wish I'd

Yes. Until suddenly there isn't.

found a way to join Cele on her trip over there.

Take care and thank you for replying, Baba.

You take care, too. And give yourself time to grieve - it's easy to
push aside, especially with those one doesn't see every day.

Baba Yaga
--
People who are useful, whatever their quirks of behaviour or political
opinions, are rarely locked up, and those who are locked up may
equally be understood to be confined for their uselessness as for
their loss of reason.
- Mike Jay, /The Air Loom Gang/
.