Winner! Re: Chez Watt Ballot July 7, 2008

Un-forking-believable. I thought at least one other author would make
it into the winner's circle. The top four are all by the same person.

Shouldn't he be writing his paper instead?

Winning NOMINATORS are invited to come forward and take bows.

First Place

un-forking-believable...I'd try to make up a cute nomination category
but I'm far too stunned and amazed at the moment...

Does anyone know what is wrong and if it is going to get fixed? I
refuse to use a newsreader. Fucking stupid computer geek stuff. I
don't even know what a newsreader is and I don't want to know.

Second Place

A scientist is not a real scientist unless they have theological
training.

Now there's a chez watt, if I have ever seen one!

Tied for Third

Nominated under the title "/headdesk":

If this usenet is not available on-line and only through your stupid fucking
newsreader bull*** then there is no point. And it doesn't matter what you say:
if it can't be read on Google or a search engine then you aint online.

And

In the category 'Doctor of Everything, University of Life':

You really don't understand how science works, do you? The argument
is from data ("because you can go out and see it for yourself"). You
are also misusing the logical fallacy of Argument from Authority,
which describes reliance on statements of experts on matters beyond
their field of expertise (e.g., an advanced degree in, say,
Educational Psychology does not qualify one to make authoritative
statements about etymology or archaeology).

Yes it does. If they are making such statements then their higher
degree makes them qualified.

Good Grief.

On Jul 7, 10:12 am, Harvest Dancer <harvestdan...@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Sorry this one is late.  I was a little distracted.  There I was
celebrating this great country by blowing up a piece of it (just like
so many else) when a rent-a-cop with an attitude threatened to have me
evicted from my apartment for daring to think that freedom is good.
At least you still have the right to vote for your favorite Chez Watt.

Vote Early, Vote Often, may the best Watt Win.

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In the "Radioactive Cheese" department;

The French have been disposing of
their fissile tailing using borated slugs for several decades. You don't
see France glowing in the dark, do you?

No, but you can smell them a mile off.

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In the "I'll make this clear, really clear, I mean really really
clear." category.

Ramsey has stressed that he would be surprised if the 1988 tests were
shown to be far off, let alone "a thousand years wrong."

"Surprised if" = "I don't really know"

No it doesn't. Truly, it doesn't. Even if you really, really, really want
it to mean that, it doesn't.

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In the "Don't watch my lips" category:

IME, readers generally follow the conventional rules of grammar and
writing
unless there is an explicit reason to do otherwise.Any reader who hadn't
followed the preceding details of the debate would have no reason to think
that was anything but a quote.

It was a quote, just not a literal one.

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[Nominated]

Seconded. I wish I could get my points across as clearly.

Oh so do I :)

I think we probably all wish we cou....
Hey! Wait a minute!
;-)

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In the "the allele for 15 bedroom mansions appears to be dominant"
category:

Inheritance of houses,
property and ideas are all firmly biological concepts,

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In the "They'll do it every time" department





‘Do Not Pray’ lists prove popular
    DEARBORN, Mich. — Elias Al-Karim says he’s always gotten along
well with his neighbors, who are evangelical Christians. But he was
angered recently to learn that they had added his name, and the names
of his wife and children, to Community Faith Center’s corporate prayer
list. Elias called the church to complain.
    "We do not want prayer from Christians, and we did not ask for
it," he told a reporter. "It’s a violation to pray for someone without
their knowledge or consent."
Read the rest
http://www.larknews.com/june_2008/print.php?page=1

That's very funny. I think I'll make sure the Mormons baptise
Elias Al-Karim into the LDS cult after he's dead.

There are strict rules on how they go about this.  With few exceptions
(George Washington among them) those who are baptized postmortem (by
proxy, not the actual corpse) are directly related to people who have
submitted their names for the ordinance.  In other words, I could submit
my grandfather's name but I couldn't submit my uncle's name or my
neighbor's name.  It's the root of why they're so into genealogy.

They're coming to get you, Barbara, there's one of them now!

Have they baptized the mitochondrial Eve yet?

Baptized her?  ARe you kidding, I think they married her off to some 65 year
old.

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Not to re-fight (replay?!) the whole thing, but /my/ position is still
that "the multiverse as a whole", and nothing less, is the
"universe".  If there /is/ a multiverse, that is.  And with a few
other reservations, too.

My position is that the universe *we* inhabit contains random elements.
In fact, ALL the universes in that now notorious multiverse contain
random elements.

And since by hypothesis, NOBODY exists in the multiverse itself, i.e.
all the universes, then everybody lives in a universe containing
random elements.

"...it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also
zero,
and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the
products of a deranged imagination."

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Well yes it is, but actually logic is a separate domain - like topology
is WRT meth in general.

I knew topology made my head spin, but I hadn't realized that it was
because it was a subset of meth.

In the drugs make topology easier category or is that topology makes
drugs easier?

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In the category of "Kublai Khan shares your pain":

I was composing a message voting for this one, but a man from Porlock
showed up and distracted me till I lost

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Given that we can now safely conclude that there are trillions of
extrasolar planets in the Universe, even if our Earth is a
million-to-one shot, there could still be an awful lot of other planets
just like ours.  In which case, Earth was not a "fluke," but a
reasonably typical occurrence in the Universe.

And just think how much time God must spend arranging the outcomes of
sporting matches on all those planets.

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Subject: News: New Research Traces Mental Depression Back 300 Million
Years

Bet it *feels* that long.

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In the "Fo Shizzle" category:

  1. The real, original and genuine Name of our Creator in the
  original Hebrew Holy Scriptures is 'YAO-HOO' and that of the
  genuine Messiah is 'YAO-HOO-SHUA.'

Was GOO-GUL-SHUA was his big brother?

Oh yeah, fer shua.

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In the cattagoree, hoyst on yore one pittard:

Sure, now the claim is that evolution is becoming unchallengeable (at
least spell right, stupid Rober),

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In the category of "Neglecting to cover Uranus":

They took away your Pluto.

Next, they're coming after Uranus.

They came first for Pluto, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a
planetoid;
Then they came for Uranus, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a
gas giant

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In the category "OW! More Vaseline, dammit!"

With friends like that...

Who needs enemas?

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In the alcohol denaturing DNA category:

Evolution is a fact.  The theory of evolution best explains the facts.
Humans are evolving.  When do we make a division between homo sapiens
and homo whatever-it-is-we-become?

For me, it's after my 4th beer.

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In the "The difference between a curse and a hex" category:

printf("%X%c\n", 3840, 76);

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filed under "Undead counterrorism agent on hiatus channels the
Coreys"

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

But does it make him a Spook? (arcane BBC series reference embedded)

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In the "All Things Dull and Ugly" event:

every snowflake is designed.

Hey [redacted], is every sperm sacred?

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In the "Groan; You do realize that now you have to die" catagory

Edward says that when you pray for someone "it makes you feel
better... than them."

Paul the Apostle recomended heaping coals on the head of one's enemies.

Nice guy, that Paul.

Ah yes, Paul's well known coals law.

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The Minority of the Minority is the Majority:

Yes, Carlin was a typical Atheist.

Not that typical. Apparently 21% of us believe in god.

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In the "no roads on the Galapagos Islands" category.

Philip E. Johnson of "Darwin on Trail" infamy

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My favourite detail is a link to Wikipedia's article on "allusion".
But no doubt A. Schiafly has one of his own, written by a homeschooled
child.

"The islands next to Alaska."

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