Re: Test...

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'Bonfire of the Deities...' wrote:<br>
<blockquote cite="midBYerf.12220$f7.4257@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"
type="cite">
<pre wrap="">Please ignore...
</pre>
</blockquote>
<pre class="moz-signature" cols="72">You call that a test?!?

Sheesh...

<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://home.insight.rr.com/snookems/fun/the.test.html";>http://home.insight.rr.com/snookems/fun/the.test.html</a>

This is a combination of several versions of "the test" that were floating around, along with a few additions of my own.
</pre>
<p>If you have any suggestions/additions/complaints/cheat sheets/etc...
Tough. :)
</p>
<h2>I'd like to thank:</h2>
<ul>
<li>Nicholas Dahlman for his help with this project.</li>
<p></p>
<li>The members of <a href="http://yucc.yorku.ca/home/leclub/";>LeClub
International</a>
for providing a couple more questions.</li>
</ul>
<hr>
<br>
&nbsp;
<p>Name: _____________
</p>
<p>Class: _____________
<br>
&nbsp;
<br>
&nbsp;
</p>
<center>
<h2>Final Examination</h2>
</center>
<center>"I pledge on my honor that during this examination
<br>
I have neither given nor received assistance,
<br>
and that I have seen no dishonest work."
<p>Signed: ___________________</p>
</center>
<p>
</p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<dl>
<h2>Instructions:</h2>
<dd>Read each question carefully. Answer all questions related to
your
Major and Minor field(s) of study. Failure to answer all items related
to your studies will result in a one letter grade reduction of your
final score for each missed item. The time limit is four
(4) hours. Begin immediately.</dd>
</dl>
<br>
<hr>
<dl>
<h2>Biology:</h2>
<dd>Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
structure if
this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, paying
special
attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.
Prove
your thesis.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: Facilitate/catalize the evolution of a
single-cellular
life-form to the development of intra/extrasolar space travel.</dd>
</dl>
<dl>
<h2>Culture:</h2>
<dd>Hypothetical situation: A horde of screaming aborigines break
into your
room. You are to calm them without using the English, Swahili, Latin or
Greek languages. You may not use any physical gestures. An inanimate
object
may be used if necessary, with a loss of 10% of of the maximum
allowable
points.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Economics:</h2>
<dd>Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace
the possible
effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist
Controversy,
and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these
effects.
Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the
deficiencies
in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the previous
sentence.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Energy Resources:</h2>
<dd>Construct a working fusion reactor. Cause a "meltdown". Provide
extensive
documentation on exactly what you did during the building process.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: Assassinate the <b>third</b> government
official whom
denies you a permit. Make it look like an accident involving a blender.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Engineering:</h2>
<dd>The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
in a box
on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual in Swahili and
an
Afgani dictionary for translation. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger
will be admitted into the room. Take whatever action you deem
appropriate.
Be prepared to justify your decision.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Epistemology:</h2>
<dd>Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your
stand.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>General Knowledge:</h2>
<dd>Describe in detail. Be specific and objective.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>History:</h2>
<dd>Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the
present day,
concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social,
political,
economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America
and
Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Management Science:</h2>
<dd>Define management. Define science. Discuss how they relate to one
another.
Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions.
Assuming
a 7600 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your
algorithm,
design the communications interface and all necessary control problems.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Medicine:</h2>
<dd>Raise your hand in the "peace sign" and quack like a duck. The
Teaching
Assistant will bring you a box containing a razor blade, a needle,
three
(3) yards of catgut, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove
your
appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have
fifteen
minutes.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd>In the event that your appendix has already been removed, perform
a tonsilectomy.
(Should you desire a mirror, one has been taped to the bottom of your
desk.)</dd>
<p></p>
<dd>Should you neither have tonsils nor an appendix, report to
Professor Frankenstein
in room 408 for an alternative surgical procedure.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Modern Physics:</h2>
<dd>Produce element 107. Determine its half-life. Theorize on the
potential
uses of this element in veterinary science. (A map highlighting the
location
of the university's particle accelerator is provided in "Attachment A
--
Location of the University's Particle Accelerator".)</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: Using one of the microwaves located in the
student
cafeteria, construct your own working particle accelerator. A set of
precision
electronics tools suitable for delicate work may be found in the
janitorial
closet.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Music:</h2>
<dd>Write a symphony. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and
drum. You
will find a piano under your seat.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Philosophy:</h2>
<dd>Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its
significance. Compare
with the development of any other kind of thought.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: Perform the Vulcan mind meld.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Physics:</h2>
<dd>Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an
evaluation of the
impact of the development of mathematics on science.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Political Sociology:</h2>
<dd>There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War
III. Report
at length on any socio-political and/or economic effects which result.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: For the Noble Peace Prize, stop the war
before all
life as we know it is ended. Provide an in depth report on how this was
achieved. Do not forget to mention fluctuations in the price of pork
bellies.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA EXTRA CREDIT</u>: For the CIA's Excellence in Covert
Relocation
Award (sometimes refered to as the Elvis award), let the evidence that
you started WW3 get into the hands of whatever agencies of authority
still
exist. Then, disappear. (<b>Please note:</b> though the requirements to
claim the Elvis may actually be achieved, arriving, in person, to
receive
it will automatically invalidate your claim. Should you be awarded the
Elvis, we expect it -- like you -- to simply disappear without a trace.)</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Psychology:</h2>
<dd>Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the stability,
degree
of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following:
Alexander
of Aphredisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support
your
evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate
references.
It is not necessary to translate.</dd>
<p></p>
<dd><u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: Translate the aforementioned works into
Ancient Hebrew
and provide a concordance of all their works, also in Ancient Hebrew.)</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Sociology:</h2>
<dd>Report in detail on the sociological ramifications of blue
M&amp;Ms. Examine
and document the unique psychological effects which the theory that
they
are really made from Smurfs would introduce to the populace of Lapland.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Veterinary Science</h2>
<dd>Prepare a formal thesis on one of the following:</dd>
<p></p>
<ul>
<li>The reasons that dogs chase cars. Provide and tabulate data on
at least
10 different species of dogs, and on no fewer than 15 different makes
of
automobiles. Suggest methods that may be employed by the canine
community
at large which would serve to increase the odds of successfully
catching,
and subduing, the average touring sedan.</li>
<p></p>
<li>The hunting methods employed by cat subject "Sylvester" with
regards to
target subject "Tweety." (Video documentation is available in the
University
Library.) Be sure to critique said hunting methods. Also, analyze and
estimate
(in inflation-adjusted figures) the health care premium for cat subject.</li>
<p></p>
<li>The reasons that birds which have just dined on blackberries
seem to exhibit
a preference for shitting on light-colored cars, such as my brand new
white
Lexus. Examine the city legal code and provide no fewer than 5 legal
execution
methods for said avians. Preference should be devoted to methods which
employ explosives, the use of high-velocity projectiles, electrical
jolts
of 50,000 volts or more, and/or tactical thermonuclear devices.</li>
</ul>
<p></p>
<dd><br>
<u>EXTRA CREDIT</u>: Wash my car.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Xenology:</h2>
<dd>Create Aliens. Provide them with a working ecosystem,
technological and
medical bases, culture(s), systems of entertainment and belief,
traditions
and communication. Document the manner in which you envision they would
interact with humanity. Test your theory, paying particular attention
to
unforseen consequences.</dd>
</dl>
<p>
</p>
<dl>
<h2>Zoology:</h2>
<dd>Use gene-splicing technology to create the ultimate carnivore.
Provide
an environmental impact study on this creature and estimate the chances
of survival of the Human species. Be prepared with visual aids to
substantiate
your estimate.</dd>
</dl>
<br>
&nbsp;
<center>
<h1>*****************************</h1>
</center>
<dl>
<h2>Extra Credit:</h2>
<dd>Define the Universe; give three examples.</dd>
</dl>
<pre class="moz-signature" cols="72">

--
"If Christians want us to believe in a Redeemer, let them act redeemed."
--Voltaire</pre>
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