Re: Venting (was Re: As the Hallmark love/hate holiday draws near...)
- From: miguel <mjc101@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 11 Mar 2006 15:43:45 -0500
Stef wrote:
Selki wrote:
But I'm a better friend for offering analysis and options (and aid, upon occasion) than there-theres. I do hug well, but if I start to feel like I'm being cast as the audience for someone else's drama queening, or if the other person seems more interested in whining than in fixing things, my sympathy starts to evaporate
I've learned to ask, when friends start venting, whether they want
advice or sympathy from me, because my tendency is to offer advice and
I've pissed off some friends by doing so, and pissed myself off by
getting into fruitless yabbut conversations. Friends who have
experienced my automatic "Geek Answer Syndrome" mode when they didn't
want that usually appreciate my asking upfront.
It also commits them to listening to you with less defensiveness. When you ask for medicine you can't bitch as much when it tastes crappy.
miguel
.
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