Re: Unwanted Relatives

"patscga" <patscga@xxxxxxx> wrote in message news:sP2dnYUwncBB3bjXnZ2dnUVZ_r6dnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you, Evely. I like the idea of telling them that I wish I had discovered them earlier because I really wish I had.


I can imagine that you do. I am sure they will understand and not hold it against you.

Again, good luck!


"Evelyn" <evelyn.ruut@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message news:h01fi6$td$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"patscga" <patscga@xxxxxxx> wrote in message news:RemdnU-RrcL1prnXnZ2dnUVZ_g6dnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
What would you do? In the course of my genealogy research I discovered the family in Germany from which my g-grandfather descended. Now the husband and wife I contacted want to come to visit us for one week. We have no other family here that could help us with them, I can barely walk, and they can't hardly speak English. We are almost 80 years old and just don't want to do it. What would you do? And what would you say?



You should explain to them just the way you have here. You are physically unable to accommodate house guests. Write to them and explain it.

Tell them you wish you had discovered them earlier, but you are now nearly 80 and not able to do so much anymore.

Only a very pushy and inconsiderate person would insist after that.

Of course, if they agree to come and stay at a hotel and not bother you too much, that might be different, but that is for THEM to mention, not you.

Remember, these are not close friends of yours for many years, and accidents of birth do not make automatic friendships or bring obligations. If you don't want to do it, you should say so and give your reasons.

Continue the friendship if you have time and inclination, but if they get angry and don't want to do it, then that is their problem not yours.

Good luck!

--

Evelyn

"Even as a mother protects with her life her only child, So with a boundless heart let one cherish all living beings." --Sutta Nipata 1.8





--

Evelyn

"Even as a mother protects with her life her only child, So with a boundless heart let one cherish all living beings." --Sutta Nipata 1.8

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