Re: aging alone

Evelyn Ruut wrote:


"High Miles" <2Blues17@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message news:NqudnYoblvgllaDbnZ2dnUVZ_g-dnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Evelyn Ruut wrote:

"Olly Mensch" <lieselottea@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message news:25122-463CEA7B-412@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Evelyn - - You wrote:"People are about as happy as they make up their
minds to be." - - not always - and not always so pat and simple.
Without boing everyone with too many details, and having described a bit
to NoName in another post, suffice it to say that much depends upon
the individual invovled as well as the residence.
I do live in a retirement place, which also, if desired - and, for more
money, offers assisted living, as well as a Nursing Home.
The activities here are mostly obnoxious. Those which are a bit more
interesting are away from this place - by bus - very, very expensive,
and far too tiring for me. Others, in better physical health and
financial health (!!) do participate and enjoy themselves. Also, most
people here are younger than I am; thus I am limited in what - if
anything -I can participate in.
I found the entire move quite traumatic - and,although my apt. is very
nice, and, in many respects, at my age, I am very fortunate to be able
to live here - but to say that I am very happy here is an enormous
exaggeration!!!
I AM grateful to be able to be here, since the alternative would be far
worse.
But - for someone younger (I am 89) and more active, perhaps this would
be a very satisfactory solution. Provided it would be feasible for them
financially.
Olly



Hi Olly,

My dad is 94. Nothing pleases him much anymore. He is miserable in his own skin. He gets out to the Dr. and it exhausts him for the rest of the day. He goes to the local Chinese Buffet, and that is the main event of that day. His medications make him miserable with side effects, but they keep him alive. His hearing aid allows him to hear a bit, but badly. The other ear is completely deaf. One eye is almost totally blind from clogged arteries to that eye as well as glaucoma. The other eye he can see out of, but not very well. He can walk slowly with a cane, but not well either.

Sometimes he may seem a bit confused, but he has no alzheimers disease, his confusion is due to a totally blocked carotid artery on one side, and about 75% blocked on the other, but he's got a stent in that one.

No assisted living, no nursing home, not even a 5 star hotel with a master chef would make him happy. If he had dancing girls and live musicians around him, like a king, that wouldn't make him happy either. So what am I saying here? I am saying that there isn't anything much to amuse you when you don't feel good, see well, hear well.

He spends his days watching TV and timing the many various drops he has to put in his eyes so many times a day, and grousing about everything, including things that happened when he was 4 years old and ever since.

What I am trying to say is that if you have infirmities (and who doesn't?) or if you are unhappy in your own skin, you could live in a palace with people waiting on you hand and foot and it wouldn't help much.

Don't blame it on the place.

Sounds like it's time for Dad to pull the big pin.
Does he ever say he'll be glad to die and get it over with ?
I'd have opened a vein long before life got to be as bad as his sounds.
What does he say he's living for ?
Is he afraid to die ?
From what I've seen of life after 85, there are very, very few jolly people
in that bunch. Sure there are always a few show pieces, but most of
them appear to be rotting their way to the grave.
Sure hope I don't have to live that long.


Dorothy he always says "why am I living this long?" etc. But it is a strange thing... he is attached to this life, and to his money and possessions, such as they are, and even though he is aware that the calendar doesn't lie, and his life may end sometime soon, he hangs on as a matter of control. He has always been a very controlling man.

That says it all.
He has something to live for.

D
.

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