Re: defending the enhlish language

Sour grapes. We have all kinds of people who take advantage of their notoreity, did this guy complain about it when others do the same thing as this guy is doing?

"arthur wouk" <awouk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message news:1228696849.731651@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



Typing Without a Clue

By TIMOTHY EGAN

The unlicensed pipe fitter known as Joe the Plumber is out with a book
this month, just as the last seconds on his 15 minutes are slipping away.
I have a question for Joe: Do you want me to fix your leaky toilet?

I didn't think so. And I don't want you writing books. Not when too many
good novelists remain unpublished. Not when too many extraordinary
histories remain unread. Not when too many riveting memoirs are kicked
back at authors after 10 years of toil. Not when voices in Iran, North
Korea or China struggle to get past a censor's gate.

Joe, a k a Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, was no good as a citizen, having failed
to pay his full share of taxes, no good as a plumber, not being fully
credentialed, and not even any good as a faux American icon. Who could
forget poor John McCain at his most befuddled, calling out for his
working-class surrogate on a day when Joe stiffed him.

With a résumé full of failure, he now thinks he can join the profession of
Mark Twain, George Orwell and Joan Didion.

Next up may be Sarah Palin, who is said to be worth nearly $7 million if
she can place her thoughts between covers. Publishers: with all the grim
news of layoffs and staff cuts at the venerable houses of American
letters, can we set some ground rules for these hard times? Anyone who
abuses the English language on such a regular basis should not be paid to
put words in print.

Here's Palin's response, after Matt Lauer asked her when she knew the
election was lost:

"I had great faith that, you know, perhaps when that voter entered that
voting booth and closed that curtain that what would kick in for them was,
perhaps, a bold step that would have to be taken in casting a vote for us,
but having to put a lot of faith in that commitment we tried to articulate
that we were the true change agent that would progress this nation."

I have no idea what she said in that thicket of words.

Most of the writers I know work every day, in obscurity and close to
poverty, trying to say one thing well and true. Day in, day out, they
labor to find their voice, to learn their trade, to understand nuance and
pace. And then, facing a sea of rejections, they hear about something like
Barbara Bush's dog getting a book deal.

Writing is hard, even for the best wordsmiths. Ernest Hemingway said the
most frightening thing he ever encountered was "a blank *** of paper."
And Winston Churchill called the act of writing a book "a horrible,
exhaustive struggle, like a long bout of painful illness."

When I heard J.T.P. had a book, I thought of that Chris Farley skit from
"Saturday Night Live." He's a motivational counselor, trying to keep some
slacker youths from living in a van down by the river, just like him. One
kid tells him he wants to write.

"La-di-frickin'-da!" Farley says. "We got ourselves a writer here!"

If Joe really wants to write, he should keep his day job and spend his
evenings reading Rick Reilly's sports columns, Peggy Noonan's speeches, or
Jess Walter's fiction. He should open Dostoevsky or Norman Maclean -- for
osmosis, if nothing else. He should study Frank McCourt on teaching or
Annie Dillard on writing.

The idea that someone who stumbled into a sound bite can be published, and
charge $24.95 for said words, makes so many real writers think the world
is unfair.

Our next president is a writer, which may do something to elevate
standards in the book industry. The last time a true writer occupied the
White House was a hundred years ago, with Teddy Roosevelt, who wrote 13
books before his 40th birthday.

Barack Obama's first book, the memoir of a mixed-race man, is terrific.
Outside of a few speeches, he will probably not write anything memorable
until he's out office, but I look forward to that presidential memoir.

For the others -- you friends of celebrities penning cookbooks, you train
wrecks just out of rehab, you politicians with an agent but no talent --
stop soaking up precious advance money.

I know: publishers say they print garbage so that real literature, which
seldom makes any money, can find its way into print. True, to a point. But
some of them print garbage so they can buy more garbage.

There was a time when I wanted to be like Sting, the singer, belting out,
"Roxanne ..." I guess that's why we have karaoke, for fantasy night. If
only there was such a thing for failed plumbers, politicians or
celebrities who think they can write.


Copyright 2008 The New York Times Company
--

"be wary of mathematicians..especially when they speak the truth."
--sT. Augustine
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