Re: In this morning's mail...

On Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:23:41 -0700, Islander <nospam@xxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

Rumpelstiltskin wrote:
On Mon, 27 Oct 2008 12:07:25 -0700, Islander <nospam@xxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the
Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We
get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and
Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.

If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and
they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets
coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs
turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech
industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones
University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and
Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in
9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with
higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico

Peace out,

Blue States





Peace out, and Piss off, red states. Enough is enough.

-------------------

Condolences on the anniversary of the death of Bonzo, Islander.
I hope things are still well with Cece.

My downstairs neighbor's older cat Kirby, 15, has now been
diagnosed with kidney failure. I gave my neighbor the special
food I had left over from when Cnut had kidney failure, June
2006 until he died Feb. 4 2007. Kirby came up here yesterday
afternoon, and already seemed skinny and uncomfortable to
me, though perhaps I was just imagining it because I know
what he's headed for.




Thank you for remembering!

Yes, CeCe is doing well, but is skinny as a rail. We have been feeding
him high calorie food, but he doesn't seem to gain any weight. We had
an anxious moment about a month or so ago when he stopped eating
completely. Turned out that he had a bad cold with a lot of congestion
and we learned that when a cat cannot smell they won't eat. A week of
antibiotics and he was doing fine. He even caught a large vole about a
week ago and got quite upset with me when I took it away from him.
Otherwise, he is getting around fine and his coat is in good shape.

We have been watching the animal shelter for another cat, but I've
decided that competition is not something that he needs right now. We
will let him be king of the roost as long as he is with us.

The farm where we keep the horses has obtained Monster Cat, the most
aggressive cat that I have ever seen. If he sees the dogs, he will
charge across the field and attack them! Both are dogs are scared stiff
of him!

We are having trouble with hawks getting after the chickens again. They
killed one yesterday. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and close
the top of their run with chicken wire. A big job! Bummer.

My wife has put one of our horses (the paint) up for sale and we hired a
photographer to take pictures. While he was here he took pictures of
all the horses and got some great pictures of the Haflingers. We hire a
young woman, age 16, to exercise the horses and she has trained one of
the Haflingers for riding with no tack. We have some great pictures of
her riding bareback, no reins at a full gallop with her arms
outstretched, controlling the horse with just her knees. She has this
enormous smile on her face - obviously having a great time and very
proud of what she has accomplished. I'll try to put some pictures up to
share when I get a chance.


On my way to get Mu Shu Pork for lunch today, I passed by
Aardvark Books, where there's still a picture of the owner's old
cream-coloured cat who died a while back, who used to
spend all his days in the bookstore. You'd be browsing books
and then look down, and there would be the cat. They have
a new cat now, I hear, but I haven't been in lately and haven't
seen him.




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