Re: In this morning's mail...
- From: Islander <nospam@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:23:41 -0700
Rumpelstiltskin wrote:
On Mon, 27 Oct 2008 12:07:25 -0700, Islander <nospam@xxxxxxxxxxx>Thank you for remembering!
wrote:
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.
If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico
Peace out,
Blue States
Peace out, and Piss off, red states. Enough is enough.
-------------------
Condolences on the anniversary of the death of Bonzo, Islander.
I hope things are still well with Cece.
My downstairs neighbor's older cat Kirby, 15, has now been
diagnosed with kidney failure. I gave my neighbor the special food I had left over from when Cnut had kidney failure, June 2006 until he died Feb. 4 2007. Kirby came up here yesterday afternoon, and already seemed skinny and uncomfortable to me, though perhaps I was just imagining it because I know what he's headed for.
Yes, CeCe is doing well, but is skinny as a rail. We have been feeding him high calorie food, but he doesn't seem to gain any weight. We had an anxious moment about a month or so ago when he stopped eating completely. Turned out that he had a bad cold with a lot of congestion and we learned that when a cat cannot smell they won't eat. A week of antibiotics and he was doing fine. He even caught a large vole about a week ago and got quite upset with me when I took it away from him. Otherwise, he is getting around fine and his coat is in good shape.
We have been watching the animal shelter for another cat, but I've decided that competition is not something that he needs right now. We will let him be king of the roost as long as he is with us.
The farm where we keep the horses has obtained Monster Cat, the most aggressive cat that I have ever seen. If he sees the dogs, he will charge across the field and attack them! Both are dogs are scared stiff of him!
We are having trouble with hawks getting after the chickens again. They killed one yesterday. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and close the top of their run with chicken wire. A big job! Bummer.
My wife has put one of our horses (the paint) up for sale and we hired a photographer to take pictures. While he was here he took pictures of all the horses and got some great pictures of the Haflingers. We hire a young woman, age 16, to exercise the horses and she has trained one of the Haflingers for riding with no tack. We have some great pictures of her riding bareback, no reins at a full gallop with her arms outstretched, controlling the horse with just her knees. She has this enormous smile on her face - obviously having a great time and very proud of what she has accomplished. I'll try to put some pictures up to share when I get a chance.
.
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