Re: Anyone here ever been to Thailand?

On Fri, 27 Apr 2007 20:04:33 GMT, jimstevens
<jimstevens@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

[Default] On Fri, 27 Apr 2007 08:54:03 -0700, NoName
<NoName@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:21:28 GMT, jimstevens
<jimstevens@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

[Default] On Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:05:22 -0700, NoName
<NoName@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Fri, 27 Apr 2007 08:56:39 -0400, "Evelyn Ruut"
<evelyn.ruut@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:



"John25" <bluesofa@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1177667510.900849.271040@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi,
Just wondering how many gents have ever been to Thailand and maybe met
some of those wonderful Thai ladies?
I sure wish I could meet one for a long term relationship, (no offence
to any other ladies reading).
I went because my father re-married a few years ago to a Thai lady. It
was her and my father who pearsuaded me to visit.
I had an all-too-short holiday there recently, there were so many
great places to visit and the ladies were so kind and thoughtful.
Any comments from you others out there?


John25


All ladies speak the same language when it comes to men.
We all want a considerate and kind man without too many bad habits.
If you can provide that, you won't need to go overseas to find a nice lady.

I don't know about Thailand, but there is a flourishing "mail order"
bride business flourishing whereby women from many poor nations
offer themselves for marriage to a Westerner in the hopes that their
families will benefit financially. A daughter is sacrificed for the
well being of the other family members who are living in abject
poverty. Usually these matches take place between men of middle
age and young women. I think these men are quite good at deluding
themselves that they are wanted for themselves alone. What
happens in many cases is that the woman secures legal residence
in the U.S. and a job and when she no longer needs that spouse
she divorces him.

Thailand does have a flourishing sex tourist industry that has
been well documented. Children of both sexes are inducted into
prostitution often with the consent of their parents -- they
become the family meal ticket.

I'd say that any man who is flattered by attention from women
from these countries should at least consider if their charm is
themselves or their bank accounts. Men who have something to
offer really can find mates right here in the U.S.


This father and son should go to the Philippines instead for romance.
As it is a financial arrangement they are looking for, they might find
themselves married and shortly thereafter dead. In the PI there is a
flourishing business of marrying foreign men and then killing them for
life insurance. Google 'philippines life insurance murder'.

Emotional stability and moral character were two elements I really
valued in women. And I have not seen it very often. When I was
young, I never found a woman in the US I would want to marry either. I
can remember dating and listening to women my age (late teens, early
twenties) and wondering if they had a brain in their heads. I can
remember wrapping up dates early. All they yammered about was
bull***. They were looking for a slick line of bull*** and more apt
to be impressed with lying to them about love. Not my cup of tea to
end up getting entangled with an idiot for the pleasure of a few
minutes. I remember advising friends that the price was too high
getting tied up with such women. Since that early age, I have seen a
few American women I admired for their emotional stability and
character. But, they were rare.

Virtually all the people I know are divorced, including many I know
who married women from some far off place.

But, the half dozen I know who have remained faithful to their vows
are such cross-cultural marriages.

Looking at the divorce stats that have increased over the decades, I'd
believe there are a lot more people in the US unsuited for any kind of
relationship then in most places in the world.

How many folks here got into such relationships that lead to divorce
and all the pain of that? Pity as I believe pieces of the soul are
sliced away over such experiences.

Men should teach their sons and women should teach their daughters how
to be good life partners and what to look for in such relationships.
They should also teach them how to avoid the majority of candidates
carrying around emotional baggage and are unsuitable for a
relationship with themselves - much less another human.

You do seem to have a laundry basket full of grievances with
American women.

Grievances? I'd call them characteristics that make them unsuitable
for long term relationship. And more men in our society are as
unsuited IMHO. If you see something in the trends to argue otherwise.
. . . please do.

Strange you should feel that way and yet have
daughters. I have married sons who have absolute gems for
wives and two granddaughters who have the same kind of husbands.
I see strong partnerships where you see misery.

So they met and married someone and stuck with them in happy
relationship? Great for them and wish great many more were there as
well. Are all ur kids having same results. If so, that is really
great. I seem to recall some of your kids married foreigners too?
Sometimes we have to travel far to find the right person.

I have a son married to a Brazilian woman. She is extremely
talented in music, plays with the national symphony and also
sometimes tours with a noted female singer -- she plays
jazz violin on such tours. And I have a Colombian son-in-law
who is a real prince of a guy. But both met their eventual
spouses here in the U.S., although my son and his Brazilian
wife now do live in Brazil. He changed from a regular job to
work in computer software consulting that made it possible for
him to find work without his wife having to give up her
musical career and move to the U.S. They recently adopted a
baby -- she was given some months of maternity leave and in
the future they will arrange things so one or the other is
at home with the child.

I believe the one factor that makes these marriages successful
is absolute respect for the notion that a spouse is also an
individual and a willingness to support him or her in whatever
aspirations their partner may have.

You were doing great up to the 'aspirations thing.

I see it as either 'living for me' or 'living for us'. If I don't
understand that, I would be like most of the folks I hear from and
lose the relationship. I recall Connie or perhaps you once saying
relationships should be for some contractual period when we terminate
it and then look for another. Some memory of some such thing. These
kinds of thinking are not what I see as relationship enhancing.

No, I never talked about contractual arrangements outside of marriage.
See no need for them.

I suspect most men need a bit of reality input on their 'aspirations'
and in cases where their aspirations are given that 'absolute respect'
you speak of; the relationship and others suffer. For the one guy who
rolls the dice for a big dream, I observe that many dreamers flounder
and fail. Dream in college and try the wings early because when a
commitment to someone else and then children come along, reality is
more important.

My wife and I both play it safe in our careers and opt for choices
where we can see the long term security for our partner and kids. I
really did want to ditch the military in the mid 70's and go chase a
dream. Fortunately, I came to see two children and a young wife were
more important then something that I later understood as passing
fancy. Results, no matter what happens to one of us, the other is
well cared for and cared for because of the respect surrendered by
both of us for the other.

If a family wants to have comfortable old age together, they only have
a few decades and have to get down to the business of rearing kids,
building assets, and then find a way to still reach for dreams within
that cycle.

The aspirations I'm talking about are various career choices by each
spouse and how the other spouse is willing to accomodate them.
Actually in the interest of both spouses having good earning power
as well as being able to do work they truly enjoy. Not chase
pipe dreams. One son is quite willing to take care of the kids
when his wife needs to travel a bit on her job. A granddaughter's
husband arranged to work mainly from a home office so his wife
could complete a teaching degree and be able to have work she
loved when the kids would be in school full-time. That sort of
thing. Another son does travel as part of his job with the Gallup
Organization and his wife would never urge him to give it up to
be always at home because she knows he just loves the type of
work he does. I've never heard any of them complain a whit or
feel they are making an unacceptable sacrifice. You seem to
imply an aspiration must be something a bit weird or crazy.
I see it as mundane as wanting to increase the family earning
power by each party having the opportunity for work they
enjoy. I appreciate the fact my sons and my granddaughters'
spouses feel it is as important their wives have work they
like as for themselves, even if at times it may result in
them shouldering more responsibity than they would have to
with stay at home wives. It is mutual give and take. And
certainly two good jobs in the family has given them financial
security. I have one son whose wife does not work -- they
lived in several states and two foreign countries. However
his income is such that they do not need a second income to
live exceedingly well. She once owned her own business but
as far as I can see is happy with her life raising four
daughters and being involved in various activities outside
the home. One size does not fit all.

I can try painting and such now if I want to having done the Dad thing
and built the nest egg for our later years. If I can't, tough as it
was not the main thing life was about anyway.

Rita, for those who understand it; What could be more special then
growing old with a life partner one loves? I doubt many here will
really get that point as I don't see many in such relationships. That
is the central point of my point. They are unsuited for such
relationships perhaps?

I see far more of these kinds of relationships than you do. You
seem to think you are a special case. I don't think so. You do
often put yourself up as having wisdom others lack. And moral
fiber as well. At least that is the way you come across -- very
quick to criticize and judge others and implying there must be
a worm in their apple.
.