Re: Swoon hypothesis

"David" <pchristainsen@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:3202d446-3ef6-4c5f-8960-2ca93c7f20e4@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swoon_hypothesis

"Although this hypothesis has not been widely
held by scholars, it has had noteworthy
advocates for hundreds of years."

Comments?

Theiring says that Christ did not die, but consumed a special poison that
would fool the experienced Roman guards into thinking he was dead. He was
helped by the two other guys that were also crucified that day, one of whom
was Simon Magus, who administered aloe juice as an antidote to the poison.
Simon acheived this despite having his legs broken, having nails put through
his feet and hands (not wrists), and hanging up there goodness knows how
long (we don't know how long the others took to 'die') on the top of a hill,
exposed to the elements, and without any re-hydration. How Simon Magus and
the other one managed to fool the guards into thinking they were dead and
then administering the antidote to themselves whilst 'dead' is not
mentioned. Jesus was hanging up there for about 11 hours, with his side
open, open wounds on his hands (not wrists) and feet and a crown of thorns
on his head, being exposed to not only the elements (being on top of a hill)
but also various life forms, both microbial and insectoid. He then had to
wait an unknown number of hours until Simon and the other guy also managed
to fool the guards (how come the poison worked in 11 hours for Jesus but
took longer for the other two?). After consuming only aloe juice whilst dead
enough to fool roman guards, Jesus made such an incredible recovery from
broken legs, side peircing, and having his legs & hands nailed, and being
hung up on a tree (or cross) for 11 hours, he managed to move the tombstone
out of the way and walk out just 2 days after his crucifixion, just fine,
the other two having snuck off a bit earlier (with broken legs and similar
wounds) without being noiticed by the women sitting vigil so as not to spoil
the big scene of Jesus leaving his tomb by himself.

Yowie


.

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