What is the relationship between modesty and clothing?

Recently our seven year old daughter performed in her end-of-the season
dance recital. All year she had worked hard in an after school class
and this recital was a chance for us, and all of the other parents, to
witness the fruits of our children's labor.

It was a splendid and inspiring recital which I enjoyed immensely.
Dancers of all ages performed, some so young they barely knew how to
walk, some in their late teens, and every age in-between. For our
daughter, it was her first chance to perform on stage in front of
several hundred people.

On the drive home we were all abuzz with excitement. Amidst the
energized comments and observations, however, a female member of our
group (extended family member) remarked how uncomfortable she had felt
during a few of the performances. Some of the older, teenage dancers,
almost all of whom were female, wore costumes which included tight
black pants and tops which showed bellybuttons and much of the their
backs. She wondered out loud about how "inappropriate and immodest"
some of the costumes had been, and questioned why the dance school
would ask their girls to wear them.

This got me thinking... what, exactly, is the relationship between
clothing and modesty? Were the outfits really immodest? What about my
own daughter... when she is older and if she is still in dance, how
would I feel about her wearing such an outfit?

My thoughts boil down to this: I fear that as a society and as a
religion, we place too much emphasis on clothing and clothing alone
when teaching modesty to our youth and children. I worry that we
don't place enough emphasis on being a modest person.

What is modesty, anyway? If we walked into any average teenage Sunday
school class and asked the kids to give a definition of modesty, most
of them would start by saying it means to choose clothing which does
not show too much leg, arm, or mid-riff.

Let's take it a step further. Play the word association game with
yourself. Say the word "Modesty" and then note the first word that
pops into your head. Be honest. Was it "clothing" or something like
it?

Is this all there is to modesty? Does it, or does it not include the
following as well: not drawing undue attention to yourself; avoiding
loud laughter; treating everyone with respect; having good manors,
saying 'Please' and 'Thank you'; living within your means, not
wearing too much jewelry, not wearing too much makeup; avoiding
excessive tattoos; using clean and proper language, good personal
hygiene, conducting yourself in a quiet, dignified, respectable manner?

It seems to me that if a person has or is approaching mastery of being
a modest person, that modest dress will follow by nature. A modest
person would have no desire to dress immodestly as a habit.

Should not the emphasis when teaching our youth, then, be on modesty as
a personal trait, rather then mainly on modest dress?

Now, here's the real kicker. When someone is a modest person, does it
detract from their modesty to wear a revealing outfit at a dance
recital? Granted, it would not be appropriate to wear to church on
Sunday tight black pants and a sparkly shirt which shows back and
tummy. But is wearing this outfit at a dance recital immodest?

The female which made the comment that began all of this would say,
"Yes!". As the conversation progressed she said that if her
daughter was involved, she would have a conversation with the costume
designers and ask them to design something more modest. If they
refused, she would pull her daughter out.

My point of view is quit different. I think the level of modesty can
not be determined simply by what the dancers are wearing. That is one
ingredient, but certainly not the only. How are they dancing? Are there
moves at all suggestive or sexual, or are they simply artistic? What is
the music? Is it laced with inappropriate undertones, or is it
wholesome and suitable for a true family environment? But most
importantly, who is the person doing the dancing? Is he or she a modest
person?

If all the ingredients are positive, then from my point of view, tight
black pants and a sparkly shirt which shows back and tummy does not in
and of itself constitute immodesty.

What do you think?

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