Re: Hangin' out
- From: Paula <mmmtoblerone@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 02 Jun 2006 10:44:58 -0000
On Wed, 31 May 2006 02:04:44 -0000, "Gazelem" <googler@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
First of all, i didn't find any acknowledgment that the church
leadership has, in recent history, *encouraged* mixed-sex hanging out in
favor of pairing off among young Mormons. The term used was "group
dating", but that doesn't make it any less the same thing.
I think that you completely missed the point, which was spelled out in
the second paragraph on page 10, namely:
"This tendency to postpone adult responsibilities, including marriage
and family, is surely visible among out Latter-day Saint young adults".
If the age group mentioned was 18 to 25 year olds, this still makes no
sense. You aren't supposed to be pairing off and waiting for
missionaries, so the guys should be doing more hanging out and less
dating until at least 21. Neither men nor women have full frontal
lobes in their brains much before 25 if at all before 25, so choosing
a marriage partner after that would make a lot of sense, anyway. I'm
all for waiting until one is fully cooked before choosing an eternal
companion and fully functional in the executive functions of the brain
before bringing kids into this world. I figured a lot of the stress
on marrying young had to do with not risking sexual sin, but hanging
out in groups takes care of that concern as well. I have advised kids
I work with to do more hanging out in groups of friends before pairing
off because that is a better way of really knowing what kind of person
you genuinely enjoy spending time with and might want to be married to
some dayand really knowing what kind of person the other person is
before thinking about marrying him or her. Let's face it, people are
much more their real selves in a group of friends casually hanging out
together than they are on a formal date. You'll end up married to the
person, not their dating persona, so might as well figure out before
the hormones start trying to make the decisions for you.
--
Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy,
so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay
.
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