Re: Roadshows, Part V
- From: The Poster Formerly Known as Craig Olson <craigBLOCK@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 15 Nov 2005 00:09:37 -0000
Here we were, midway through our largely unrehearsed roadshow, and
almost everything was working as planned. The one thing that was not
working was somewhat central to the title and our sense of humor, but
rather unimportant otherwise.
The official title of the play was OL-RECT III: A Comedy of Arrows. In
each of the "skits" with John and Miles, there was a part where Miles
asks John for a favor, and John responds: "Shoot". The original script,
as submitted to the stake, called for someone dressed as a Native
American to step onto the stage at that point and shoot and arrow at
John. The stake felt this posed a hazard to the actors and nixed the
idea. We tried several alternatives, and ended up with a large 3' arrow
prop that would fly down a piece of fishing line. But, at the night of
the performance, when we got to the stage we could not find anything to
which we could tie the fishing line. So, no arrow, and the whole
subtitle of the play became a mystery to the audience. So be it.
One of the things that had been introduced the year before and continued
for this year was we had a semi-pro sound and lighting crew that ran the
technical aspects for all the plays. So we had to submit a technical
script with cues for the lights and sound folks. We had one cue and one
lighting direction ? a blackout. Having never rehearsed any of this, we
had to hope the crew got it right.
Where I last left us, we had John, Miles and Priscilla all dressed as
mid-60s hippies hanging around Central Park. John appears to be
protesting in front of an Indian tepee, and is chanting slogans about
Native American rights (well ahead of his time, I might add).
Standish: "Hey, John. What's happening?"
Alden: "Stand! The Man! Just marching for freedom, like always."
Standish: "Far out. With all this protesting, you still got time to lend
me a hand? I need a favor, man."
Alden: "Shoot."
Standish: "Listen, you know I really dig that Priscilla chick, right?"
Alden: "Pris? Yeah, man, what's not to dig?"
Standish: "Oh I am so with you, and have you heard her harmonize at a
hootenanny? It is to die for! So I'm thinking this chick is like the
perfect old lady."
Alden: "Right on."
And so it went through the 60s version of the story until we got down to
Priscilla's line ?
Priscilla: "Alden, you spineless wimp, get a grip. You wanna rap about
love, you rap for yourself!"
The script writer comes in from back stage, walks over to each of the
actors and yanks the scripts out of their hands. "Stop that!" she
hollers, half at them, half at herself.
Producer (entering from the wings): "What now?" I think we have something."
Writer: "A fever, perhaps, but not a script. This is drivel. This is tripe."
Director (storming in): "You wrote it!"
Writer: "Don't interrupt me when I'm throwing a tantrum! This reads like
a bad TV sitcom. I won't have my name on it."
More discussion and dialog followed, dissecting the various failings
with the script and the plot and the cast and just about everything else.
The discussion continues with an analysis that traces problems with the
production to the time frame. The first was in the 1660s, then second in
the 1860s the third in the 1960s, and each was less good than the
previous. So to make the play *really* work, we needed not to go forward
in time, we need to go ?
Yep, you got it. Here it comes.
After a sotto voice conference in the middle of the stage, the cast
breaks from the huddle and rushes around frantically. Crew members grab
the two flats that, together, looked like a tepee and turn them upside
down. What had looked like the sides of the tepee now look like a dreary
background and the part that had been trees and lawn now look like a
jungle mountain. A few quick splashes of red paint and the mountain
becomes a volcano. Other sets are inverted, painted and adjusted to take
on a decidedly prehistoric look (in some cases it just took a few brush
strokes to changes oaks into palm trees, add a angry red sun and few
pterosaurs to the sky).
Costumers rush on and rip the clothes off John, Miles and Priscilla
leaving them clad only in the same skimpy animal skins we used two years
ago. Bones and firewood and brought in and dropped on stage. New scripts
and handed out and positions taken. Everyone but the actors flees the
stage, and we're ready to roll, once again.
Mug Stone: "Hun Gowah, Ug-lug. Long time, no see."
Ug-lug: "Mug Stone! It seems like eons! Wanna come hunt a sabretooth
with me?"
Stone: "Practical as always, Ug-lug. Can it wait for a bit? I mean, look
at the sun-dial, the day is still young."
Ug-lug: "Mug, when it comes to hunting, there is always time to kill."
And so we ran through the whole skit again, with references to dinosaurs
and mastodons and dragging people back to caves by their hair. Just as
it was wrapping up, the costume design pulls open the curtain at the
back of the stage and walks in, waving her arms.
Costume designer: "Okay, that's enough."
Director: "CUT! What now? This time I think we got it."
Designer: "In your dreams, child. This is beyond hope. Where is the
vision for the heart, where is the style for the soul, where is the
substance for the eye?"
Script writer: "That's right ? it's all about you ? if it doesn't look
good, it isn't real, right?"
And it pretty much dissolved from there. People drifted in from off
stage and joined the general discussion in the middle of the stage.
John, Miles and Priscilla are left standing on either side, without a
lot to do or say. At one point the designer stomps out from the group
and pulls an entire Puritan outfit ? a one-piece dress, to be precise ?
over Miles' head and returns to the discussion pointing and saying "Like
that!" Miles stands there, looking down at his outfit and looks
hopelessly confused.
In the background, canned music starts low and builds. About the time
you could recognize the tune ["Somewhere" from West Side Story], John
and Priscilla look at each other and sing:
"There's a role for us ?"
The people playing the director, producer and script writer (who were,
in real life, the director, producer and script writer) take over and sing:
"Somewhere a goal for us ?"
Scene painter: "I paint sets ?"
Costume designer: "And I design ?"
All: "But it's all ours ? it's not yours or mine!"
"It's ours ?"
[All gesture to each other. From off stage, about half people who have
been involved in sets and scenery run on and join in the singing]
"We're all stars ?"
[The rest of the ensemble runs on. Some of them more enthusiastic ones
jump through the butcher paper flats like a football team running onto
the field, making a decidedly dramatic entrance.]
"And we're all here."
[There are now 90 people on stage, all singing. And it wasn't all that
bad ? we had probably 45% of the local Mormon Youth Choir on stage]
More singing and more lyrics followed, building to a climax that went
something like ?
"Once we start we will never stop
'til we reach our goal
And come out on top ? "
[Miles and John grab Priscilla and do a cheerleading-style lift so she
stands on their shoulders.]
"Some script ?"
[At this point, the dinosaur head puppet from OL-RECT I appears from
back stage and starts wobbling around stage; Priscilla sees it and jumps
down to the stage in alarm]
"Some play ? "
[Auric Digit ? the villain from OL-RECT II ? runs on in a lab coat and
carrying a flask of blue liquid boiling smoke ? dry ice in water with
blue food coloring]
"THIS YEAR!"
The front semi-circle of players take a half-step forward and point
downward like a teacher might tap their desk and say "I want that
homework on my desk tomorrow." While the cast holds the note, Rocky
Bagsop (in costume) swings in on a rope and lands center stage, sliding
on his knees (accidental, the rope was tied in the wrong place) to the
center of the point where the semi-circle of people were pointing,
almost like we planned his spot (we didn't).
Rocky throws his arms out wide, the song ends and the entire cast and
crew bend from waist in a deep bow. That's the lighting cue and they got
it exactly right. As the cast and crew reached a full bow, the lights go
out.
And there was silence.
Standing there in the dark, I know I was thinking: We did it again.
The first year we amused ourselves and some of the audience, but nobody
else.
The second year we entertained some of the audience but not ourselves.
And this year ? did we miss again?
Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion.
.
- Follow-Ups:
- Roadshows, Part VI
- From: The Poster Formerly Known as Craig Olson
- Re: Roadshows, Part V
- From: John Johnson
- Roadshows, Part VI
- References:
- Roadshows, Part III
- From: The Poster Formerly Known as Craig Olson
- Roadshows, Part IV
- From: The Poster Formerly Known as Craig Olson
- Roadshows, Part III
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