suggestions?

I hesitate to interrupt the riveting news of stenographic transcripts
of Boston city council or of the repeated urgings to get tested
*together* with potential playmates before sex, but since there's not
a whole lot of other traffic visible, I thought I'd venture into the
territory of *me*me*me* questions.

less than 48hr into the new year, my washing machine died.
Fortunately, the death was not spectacular, just a ceasing-to-
function; so I removed the water therein by bail and bucket, not with
mops and apologies to the person who lives directly below. So I
arranged with Murray-the-salesman at the Hudson's Bay Company for
stackable twin washing and drying machines to arrive in exchange for a
certain number of beaver pelts, point blankets and other valuable
trinkets.

the washer is a horizontal-axis, front-loading, no agitator model,
which makes it green & energy and water efficient - thus exempting it
from sales tax, and I get a $60 rebate from the city for cutting water
consumption. after removing seven buckets of water from its
predecessor, this lower water use can only be a good thing.

[striking while the iron was hot, and piggybacking on a single
delivery charge, I also purchased a new wash-disher, which was the
major appliance I'd actually been planning to purchase next, before
pump-failure forced the issue. as biiig arnold can testify, the
washdisher was a rather more extended - ie 6 week - story; but as so
often happens, I digress]

Living in a condominium apartment as I do, floor space is at a
premium. so the washer and dryer were indeed stacked and fastened
together properly, by the big butch delivery people (and having
watched them do it, I can confirm that the assembly fee was the best
$35 I ever spent). They are now neatly tucked away into the purpose-
built and duly plumbed closet.

But I still have two unresolved issues, and wonder if the assembled
company can assist with suggestions, serious or humorous (or
preferably both).

a) the laundry closet is too small. Initially it had a folding door
with which to hide away the laundry machines, but the ones presently
sitting there are about 10cm too big front-to-back, and so jut out
into the hallway by about that much (and the folding door is
downstairs in my storage locker). Now I really don't want the washer/
dryer, nift-ee though they are at their assigned domestic task, to be
the chief decorating feature of my hall. What to do, what to do? The
walls, by the way, are painted a butter yellow shade, but I'm not
prepared to spray paint the appliances that colour to get them to fade
into the background. At the moment there is a *** (remarkably close
in colour to the walls) draped across them, but I can't help feeling
there is a better solution out thar somewhere.

b) the delivery/assembly guys from the Hudson's Bay Co took away the
corpse of the deceased washing machine (and dryer, it was a combo
unit). What they did NOT take away were the bits left over from the
stacking of the new washer and dryer. There are various brackety
things, and levelling screw/feet removed from the dryer, and the lid
of washer; all removed in the uniting process. I spoze I could bring
myself to discard the hardware, but there's still this honking great
washer lid. It's the size of a card table, and white enamelled
steel. I spoze I could put legs on it and turn it into a table, but
it's white enamel, not green felt, so wouldn't quite work as a card
table; and besides, there's that floor-space-at-a-premium issue. So,
what to do with this stuff?

shirley the motssisi can come up with ideas for these domestic
conundrums for yr panda. thank you in advance.

obMotss: moi, and Murray-the-salesman
..

ailuropoda melanoleuca torontonensis
with apparently a dysfunctional decorating gene wot all homos are
spozed to be born with
.

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