Abridged & Updated

It is clear to me that Hole in the Wall Saloon's prolonged relocation
difficulties is a matter of karmic justice, than of NIMBY politics and
business rivalry. During my two-plus years as a regular patron, I have
witnessed (and suffered) incredibly dark mojo that still continues.
Here's a quick list of my grievances against Hole in the Wall:

- I was drugged and mugged by a patron of Hole in the Wall. No
customer or bartender gave me any compassion or support, nor did they
admit knowing the culprit. (I have since learned that some regulars,
and most bartenders there, knew all along.)

- Before the mugging, I had formed an excellent friendship with one
patron, Larkin. But immediately after I informed him of the attack, he
ceased our association. And it continues to this very day (more than a
year-and-a-half later).

- Some of Larkin's "friends" (including bartenders Gary C. and Chris
A.) humiliated me, turning him against me. I had to endure this for
MONTHS (that is, until I finally left that bar).

- Weekend bartender Chris A. did nothing when I was attacked by a
somewhat large dog. Instead, he kicked me out, and let the dog and
owner stay.

- I was threatened with severe violence by another patron (red-headed
speed freak Chris), on Gary C.'s shift. Yet the bartender did nothing.

I finally left that bar to hang out at the Eagle Tavern...a place I
found much friendlier and safer, at least for a while. Sadly, the
gossip from Hole in the Wall followed me there. Obviously, some
bartenders and patrons have manipulated Larkin to hate me. (I can
barely IMAGINE the wicked gossip used against me, and why Larkin fell
for it.) I was recently threatened from one loser named "Gypsy" who is
friends with the above-mentioned Gary C., and hangs out at BOTH bars.
The bartender on duty, Ron, failed to 86 (or even reprimand) him for
threatening a patron. So my days at the Eagle may be numbered, too.

Being Buddhist at heart, I take the high road: "I have no enemies,
only teachers." My goal is not vengeance, but justice. Those who play
my enemy I hope to win as friends. Imagine what all this negative
energy can do for gay rights here in Gay Mecca, once it's channeled
into a positive route! I do have an excellent resolution in mind, to
make this a win-win situation for all involved:

Larkin, I cherish the friendship we had for a while. I prayed that
you'd get your old job back at the Tacqueria next door to "The Hole",
and to have you return to South of Market, where you were the star for
over seven years. I am the one behind welcoming you to the Eagle, when
all other bars wouldn't have you. Just ask Ron. Truth is: we've BOTH
been shafted, and the last thing these A-holes care to see, is the
resumption of our camaraderie. My prayers for your return to SOMA have
been answered in every way, and I only need to look forward now, to my
return into your heart.

It is time to mend all damage done. But time has grown short. If you
do not change your ways, this will all backfire, and what you wished
against me shall come to avenge me instead. Larkin, your willful
cooperation with such evil will only entrap you, unless you answer to
your conscience NOW. You are my hero: don't fail me, or yourself.

I want Hole in the Wall to relocate UNDER MY TERMS:

Rename the saloon to "Larkin's Lagoon"...where Larkin will be the host
and professional bouncer. He'll be paid a living wage including
quality health care. A plywood cutout of Larkin (artfully painted,
holding a cue stick in one hand, cigarette in the other, with his
trademark sardonic smile) shall be attached to the front door, or
beside it. Details on how the bar should be run will be left up to me,
during negotiations with the owners.

This includes reducing alcohol consumption by 80%, and increasing
marijuana use drastically, by including THC based concoctions.
(Currently illegal, but we know it's the right thing to do in order to
heal our community. At this point in our history, to NOT move in this
direction makes us complicit with the persecution of our homophobic
enemies. Can you say "speakeasy?")

In sum: I take heart from Buddha's words in the Dhammapada: "A fool is
happy until his mischief backfires. And a good man may suffer until
his goodness blossoms."

A more detailed account of my grievances and solutions can be viewed
at my Gay Bible web site:

www.gay-bible.org/truetales/6_dark-mojo.htm

Sincerely,

Zeke Krahlin
Gay Activist since 1973

.

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