STD's On The Rise Amongst Mature Stupid White Women
- From: "Amused 0nlooker" <null@xxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:16:59 GMT
Are the frisky fifties putting their health at risk?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=511643&in_page_id=1879
When 44-year-old Diane Newson cuddled up in bed with her new boyfriend
Nick - ten years her junior - the last thing on her mind was the subject of
sexually transmitted diseases.
"When I was growing up, the only thing we worried about was getting
pregnant," says Diane, an attractive blonde divorcee with two daughters in
their 20s and her own PR company in South London.
"The issue of sexually transmitted infections simply never entered my head,
because by the time the Aids epidemic came round I was married and
obviously in a monogamous relationship. I was vaguely aware that there was
a big increase in such infections, but that had nothing to do with my life."
But then Diane's 19-year marriage came to an end and she found herself
back on the singles scene - a very different scene to that when she was first
dating in her teens.
"Firstly, I found that all the men my age had let themselves go or were really
controlling," she says. "Or if they had kept themselves in shape, were
chasing women half my age."
Like many single women of her generation, she turned to the internet to find
a date. Which is where she found Nick.
"I was really delighted that he seemed to be interested in me - I told him
immediately I was 44, whereas he was only 34, single, and worked as a
cameraman. We agreed to meet for a drink, got on like a house on fire and
two weeks later we ended up in bed together. It was like falling into heaven."
But not for long. Within three weeks, she realised things were not right - that
she had an unusual discharge.
"At first I didn't pay much attention to it because it wasn't very noticeable, but
then it was there every day. After two weeks of intense worry, I went to my
nearest genito-urinary clinic - I could not have faced my own GP with
something like this.
"The nurses there were very matter of fact and did their best to stop me
feeling humiliated but, as you can imagine, it was a dreadful experience. I
had an internal examination, and then, after the tests came back, they told
me that I had chlamydia. I didn't even know what it was."
Chlamydia is a vaginal infection which is often known as the "silent" disease
because often the damage can be done without the person even knowing
they have the infection.
If left untreated, it can damage the reproductive organs of a woman and
can also have implications for women past the age of conceiving.
Currently Britain's most common sexually transmitted disease, it has reached
epidemic proportions. For example, an estimated one in ten teenagers aged
between 16 to 19 has chlamydia, with more than 66,000 treated at
genito-urinary clinics last year.
Diane says: "I was given a course of antibiotics and told to refrain from having
sex with the person who had infected me."
Good advice - which Diane failed to take, with predictable consequences.
"I re-infected myself," she says, shamefacedly.
"Nick said he definitely didn't have it so it must have been me, but he'd been
the first person I had slept with since my marriage broke up so that was
impossible.
"However, I was gullible and so innocent about the nature of modern
relationships, and I also felt insecure being back on the dating game so I
ignored any nagging doubts in my head. I just wanted to believe him to hang
on to the relationship."
Diane's tale might sound like a sorry story of one woman's naivety and
stupidity, but the fact is she is just one of the soaring numbers of middle-aged
women who are at risk of sexually transmitted infections.
The Health Promotion Agency for England, Wales and Northern Ireland
says that among women aged 44 to 64, the numbers with chlamydia have
risen by 177 per cent, from 150 to 416 cases, in the period from 1993 to
2004.
Cases of gonorrhoea among women in this age group rose by an even
higher number - 249 per cent, from 39 cases to 136.
Now these figures may be small, but they don't reflect the numbers of those
too embarrassed to seek help for their symptoms, and only this week, the
seemingly staid magazine for the over-50s, SAGA, warned its readers that
middle-aged lovers are ignoring the risks of sexual disease.
The magazine carried out a survey, and found that 10 per cent of sexually
active people over the age of 50 say that they use no contraception. All
very well if you're with the same partner - but step out into the big wide
world and there are a host of unpleasant surprises in store.
As a result of the soaring divorce rate, and because it's the case that
women who are divorced in middle-age no longer feel confined to a
celibate future, more and more women are inadvertently putting themselves
at risk.
SAGA's Emma Soames says: "The problem is that infections are perceived
as being a young person's problem, and with older people pregnancy is very
often no longer an issue.
"This means they don't realise that they need to worry about sexually
transmitted infections and should be having protected sex."
Dr Laurence Gerlis, an expert in sexual health who runs the Same Day
Doctor clinic on Wimpole Street in London, agrees.
He says: "I am currently treating four middle-aged women, two wealthy
divorcees and two widows, who have genital herpes. It isn't a life-threatening
disease but it is very uncomfortable and, for them, extremely embarrassing.
"This is a recurrent disease which is very hard to get rid of - in fact almost
impossible because the virus can lie dormant in the body even though you
can treat the symptoms - and it is causing all of them acute distress.
"In every case, they are hiding this - understandably - from their children."
He says that women in their 40s, 50s and even 60s are extremely vulnerable
as they are so naive - certainly none of the four women he is currently
treating is promiscuous.
"It has taken them a while to get over their separation or grief, and when they
do start dating again, they have no idea of the dangers out there," he says.
"The message of the need for safe sex has passed them by, and they do not
think to use a condom. In two of these cases, I think the women have been
targeted by younger men, who care nothing for their own health or that of
the women they meet.
"The women have no idea these viruses are out there but if you meet a man
through a dating agency or over the internet, you have no idea what you are
taking on, and sexually transmitted infections have now reached epidemic
proportions.
"I am certainly seeing more and more women with sexually transmitted
infections. Many are divorcees, and they either meet men over the internet
or go off for a fling in Ibiza or somewhere and come back with something
they never expected.
"Chlamydia and herpes are the most common STIs contracted, with fewer
incidents of gonorrhoea and also something called ureaplasma which is a mild
form of chlamydia.
"For the young, these diseases are common-place and they are usually very
aware of them - but older women never expect to encounter them."
Many women, like Diane, already have a family and so are not as
concerned at the loss of fertility from chlamydia, but Dr Gerlis warns it
can have another far-reaching consequence.
"Untreated chlamydia can cause pelvic inflammatory disease which can
affect the bladder and then cause stress incontinence, which is very
unpleasant."
A holiday fling proved the downfall of Rosemary Benson from Scotland.
The 51-year- old health worker contracted an STI while having a holiday
fling in Jamaica with a fellow Brit.
She says: "I was in my early 40s and went to visit my sister who lives in
Jamaica. I'd just come out of a long and loving ten-year relationship,
and was feeling very vulnerable and raw. Christopher was one of my
sister's friends, a fellow ex-pat who was very seductive and charming.
"It's the only time in my life I've had such a fling, but it simply felt like a
bit of light-hearted fun. I then went to visit the plantation he owned, and
ended up staying there for three days.
"We had a wonderful time together, and the whole episode felt exotic
and exciting. I was aware that he had a history, he'd told me he'd had
romances with younger girls, but I simply felt flattered that he was
interested in me."
"Contraception did not enter her head. "I knew that pregnancy was not
a concern. We had unprotected sex without once thinking of the
consequences."
Two months later, and her reckless actions came home to roost - with
a vengeance.
"I found three small lumps about half the size of a grain of rice. I knew
they shouldn't be there, and straight away I thought about my holiday
romance."
She says she felt furious with herself for not taking precautions - after
all, he could have been HIV positive.
Rosemary went to her nearest genito-urinary clinic, where they explained
that she had contracted genital warts, one of the most common STIs,
which is not dangerous, but is unpleasant.
She had them treated and suffered prickly discomfort for weeks.
Unfortunately a smear test a month later revealed that they had returned,
and this time she had to wait for them to clear naturally.
"The awful thing about genital warts is that they can come back at any
time because they are caused by a virus which never leaves the body,"
she says.
"If only I had thought about this before."
Rosemary didn't have the nerve to tell Christopher that he had infected
her, and she has never seen him since.
She is not in a relationship but has had a long-term partner in the intervening
years, and they always used a condom.
She says: "If I do meet another man I will tell him straight away about my
condition.
"I am acutely aware now that when you have unprotected sex you're not only
sleeping with all the women a man has been with in the past, but also all the
men those women have slept with!
"There is a huge risk inherent in sexual relationships today, and I feel I could
only enjoy one now in the knowledge that I was safe."
Doctors from the Radcliffe Infirmary in Oxford are warning that women, like
Rosemary, are much more susceptible to STIs because they are not included
in safe-sex messages, which are always targeted at schoolchildren and at
older teenagers.
Their research is published in a book called Sexual Health And The
Menopause by Dr Faryal Mahar and Dr Jackie Sherrard.
Dr Sherrard says: "The over-45s are omitted from prevention messages, but
menopausal women are especially at risk because they feel that because they
are postpregnancy, they do not need to use a condom."
She also warns that older menopausal women can be even more vulnerable
to STIs because oestrogen deficiency means vaginal and cervical tissue
becomes more fragile, which can result in tears or abrasions which lead to
an increased susceptibility.
But getting older women actually to admit they have a problem is one of
the hardest issues, says Janet Pearce, the senior nurse adviser with the
Marie Stopes Clinic.
"Often these women have been in long-term relationships and they simply
do not consider the risks," she says.
"I would say I see most cases of herpes in the over-50s - I have seen
some gonorrhoea cases, too, though these are much less prevalent. You
feel so sorry for these women - they are always mortified that this has
happened to them, but I say it is a very different society out there.
"Often an STI is an infection they don't even want to admit they have, and
leave it until the symptoms become unbearable. It can often be as if they
can't accept this has even happened to them. It is a minefield."
Chlamydia, she says, can sometimes inflame arthritis if it is left untreated,
and can even spread to the eye causing painful conjunctivitis.
"The message has to be that if you have had unprotected sex and have
any fears whatsoever, please see your GP or come to a clinic like Marie
Stopes. You cannot just bury your head in the sand and pretend this is
not happening."
She adds: 2I know there is such a stigma to STIs, but they are now so
much more prevalent among the over-40s. Believe me, it can happen
to you."
Diane Newson, now 51, knows this all too well.
She broke off her relationship with Nick after six months. They
discussed the fact he had given her chlamydia openly, but she says
it put a lot of stress on the relationship, because he felt she was blaming
him for what he saw as a "trivial" health problem.
She says: "In my 20s I thought that being on the contraceptive pill was
all I needed to keep myself safe, and I just hadn't adapted my thinking
to the dangers of sex today. Now I know that is absurdly naive," she
says.
"It's had a huge effect on my life. I feel as if I daren't date a man as I
might give him chlamydia, or catch it again. I haven't slept with anyone
for four years. If I did, I would always insist on a condom now, but
even then I would feel really nervous.
"What a way to look forward to my retirement in nine years time - I
feel I will almost certainly be alone, thanks to my own crass stupidity."
.
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