Why women are better
- From: "Avenger" <avenger@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 18 May 2007 23:08:46 GMT
a.. Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
b.. Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the point).
c.. Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
d.. If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being
emotionally neglected.
e.. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
f.. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
g.. If we have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, we're
not the devil.
h.. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an
idiot.
i.. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
j.. If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
k.. It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner
workings of a 'ruck'(or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool
if we do.
l.. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
m.. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group
shower.
n.. Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
o.. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
p.. No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo.
q.. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
r.. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look
like complete idiots in ours.
s.. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach
in our teeth.
t.. Taxis stop for us.
u.. The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts... and
pool.....and football.
v.. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
w.. WE never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
x.. We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of
our sexuality.
y.. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
z.. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
aa.. We can cry and get out of speeding fines.
ab.. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
ac.. We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old
perverts.
ad.. We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of
cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
ae.. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
af.. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
ag.. We can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet
bowl.
ah.. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder
excuses.
ai.. We can sleep our way to the top.
aj.. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture
them naked.
ak.. We can use cosmetics should we wake up looking like something the cat
dragged in.
al.. We can wear and carry weapons in plain sight: long nails and spike
heels.
am.. We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a
"short woman's complex."
an.. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
ao.. We don't have to get our strength up between sessions... ...and it's
much easier for us to get laid in the first place.
ap.. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
aq.. We don't look like a frog in a blender when we dance.
ar.. We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
as.. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls
and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
at.. We got off the Titanic first.
au.. We have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
av.. We have no desire to arrange our possessions in alphabetical order.
Ever!
aw.. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
ax.. We have total control over our eyebrows.
ay.. We know that Tetris is the computer game to end all games.
az.. We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct
correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our genitals.
ba.. We know the truth about whether size matters.
bb.. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
bc.. We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing
inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......
bd.. We never ejaculate prematurely.
be.. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates
are still there.
bf.. We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever.
bg.. We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.
bh.. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
bi.. We're NOT men.
bj.. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in
a computer game.
bk.. When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll
it's sad.
bl.. Women at least know who their children are without having a genetics
test.
bm.. Women have separate devices for peeing and for having babies ...
showing that we are much more advanced.
.
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