Re: Why am I alone?
- From: "Heidi Graw" <heidigraw@xxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 05 Feb 2006 10:40:54 GMT
<rdubose@xxxxxxx> wrote in message(snip)
I noticed this lack of interest in taking on leadership roles going way
in highschool. They've got leadership clubs. Yet, who are the members?
*Mostly* girls and just one or two guys. That's it! For the most part,
it'll be the girls organizing school activities, attending leadership
workshops, etc... while the guys are just happy to be told what to do.
Considering what those school, activities are, it is surprizing any
guys show up at all.
The guys sure as heck show up by the numbers when a school dance has been
organized by the girls. The automotive teacher was all too happy to engage
the boys in the race car club. Yet that club folded because the boys didn't
want to put in the necessary work to keep that club going. The teacher is
now waiting for a new crop of boys to show up. Perhaps these ones will be
interested in reviving the club and help in organizing everything that it
takes to keep that club viable. In my district we have all sorts of
teachers prepared, able and willing to encourage leadership and organization
skills among students. They'll donate their time and effort to mentor these
students to get them to be successful in whatever they are interested in.
The chefs at the various cafeterias are busy as all heck keeping students
busy with catering affairs, etc. Yet, who shows up for these activities?
The girls! And yet the chef is a man! So, the guys aren't even interested
in cooking and catering either.
That you should think that such "school
activities" would really engage the passions of teanage boys is
I keep asking the boys that. "What does it take to keep you in school?
What would it take to fire you up enough to be involved and engaged?"
The answer? "I dunno know!"
So, if they don't know...how the heck are *we* supposed to know? Every
trick in the book is being tried. Yet, who shows up voluntarily? The
girls! It's come down to principals darn near threatening the boys to come
and show up. "YOU! Show up a 7:00 p.m. sharp! I need you to guard this
door for the dance. And that's an order!" A girl can be asked nicely, yet
a boy has to be ordered...commanded!
I would simply kill myself - maybe along with half the
school, if I were a kid in highschool today unless I somehow could
believe it was irrelevant to later life.
I jokingly told the principal that perhaps he should treat boys military
style. That seems to be the only way to get the boys involved in anything.
They have to be ordered! Turn part of the school into a military boot camp!
Speaking of leadership classes. When my son was in high school he
was in one of those. I think he got a "D" He got a lot of those.
At their school, they had the tradition of a "senior prank."
Entirely on his own, he dreamed up a massive plan of mischeif involving
burying an administrative entrance with a 3 story pile of discarded
Christmas trees. He organized about 50 classmates and several trucks to
do the entire deed in the 3 hour gap between security patrols. And they
pulled it off. Everybody knew who had organized this but there were no
photographs and his buddies were loyal and hung together so no one got
If you cannot see what I am getting at, there is no hope. And I
really doubt that you can fathom the contempt that men feel when told
that girls planning a sanctioned, school supported toy event is
evidence of "leadership" in the world that they inhabit.
What you're telling me is that if boys are left to their own devices,
they'll wreck havoc. While a girl can be relied upon to act responsibly and
constructively. A boy has to be *ordered around*, while a girl can be asked
nicely. A boy's participation requires force of will imposed by an
authority figure, while a girl will participate voluntarily.
Is there a way to instill constructive self-motivation on the part of boys?
Or do you believe this is an impossible goal to attempt to achieve?
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