Good save us from J Maynard Keynes!


Sometime this year, we taxpayers in Oz may again
receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.'

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll
explain it by
Using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

It is money that the federal government will send
to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own
money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to
purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of
China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help
the Aust. Economy by
Spending your stimulus cheque wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the
money will go to China
or Sri Lanka .

If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to
the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India
, Taiwan or China .

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go
to Mexico , Honduras and

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan
or Korea ..

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it
will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in Australia by:

1) Spending it at garage sales, or

2) Going to the footy , or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only Australian businesses still
operating in Australia )


Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that
you met at a garage-sale
and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm
just glad I could be of help.


And the good ol' USofA has been stimulated for 20
years now. and is still up to its lobes in the
deepest warmest bong.

Relevant Pages

  • Hows the stimulus working for you so far?
    ... We’re billions of dollars further in debt and the economy ... TARP, the stimulus bill, massive debts our children ... Politicians will spout some lofty ... borrow the money to buy it. ...
  • Re: Michael Jacksons Funeral from another view
    ... I guess that if money is involved, ... handedly in himself stimulating the economy. ... You obviously have no clue as to who or what Mammon is or you'd not have ... made reference to stimulus spending in the same sentence as Mammon. ...
  • Re: nbc-wheres Homeland Security when you need it?
    ... but the money pumped back into the economy stimulates the ... I think all stimulus monies should have been spent on infrastructure. ... I also happen to think the stimulus money spent will only hurt more ... only created construction jobs, ...
  • Re: The Financial Crisis for Dummies, by Nobelist Robert Lucas
    ... The inflation that will result from a trillion dollars of money ... Most fiscal stimulus arguments suffer from three basic fallacies. ... Government spends money into the economy and the Fed never bounces a ... Every dollar of increased government spending must correspond ...
  • Re: Why do I smell bacon when Dems say "Stimulus"
    ... but he's now opposed to all spending here in the U.S.. ... stimulus to the economy. ...  Offshore oil is like money in your ...